Well, It was lit fam.
I had a fun time in my almost 5 years of being in armies.
I hope you’re glad that AR was my favourite army, and my first one.
I feel the need to write about my friends in the community, as I most likely wouldn’t be where I am without them.
122344a – My longest known friend in the community, as I’ve known him basically from the beginning, and I’m glad I still get to speak to him to this day.
SairaL – One of my first friends from the 2015 era, who I still speak to along with a lot of my other friends from this era.
Pepper – One of my close friends who I speak to nearly everyday, and I’m glad to still have.
Memebean – One of my friends from early 2016, who I’m thankful to still be able to speak to.
this is borung heck
shoutouts???
yank , subs , burr , vinny , dani , alisa , popilupa , sugarsweetz , Mr Geggie, charcoal , holden , golden , murphy , percy , pg , roy , ragerobot , nugget , lin-manuel miranda , madotsuki , help , wembley , tripy, lord pain , videogames121 , flame , oli/flaem jr , benji the rat slayer , memebean’s mom , sai’s friend lily , krystal , soph , poss , you!!
i had fun being in ar and other armies
mostly ar
the others werent as memorable
sorry mates
yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank banged subs yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank yank
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gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick gluestick
Rubber ducky, you’re the one. You make bathtime lots of fun! Rubber ducky I’m awfully fond of you!
Voh-doh-doh-dee-oh!
Rubber duckie, joy of joys, when I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber duckie, you’re my very best friend, it’s true!
I got my rubber duckie, I’m in the tub with bubblies, he isn’t very fuzzy. I know my duckie loves me. Call up my homie Ernie, the orange one you heard me! Yeah he is the best, and I’m on a quest to get him in here early. I need that duckie with me, I’ll have a bathtime it’s a- gonna be iffy, if I don’t see him man I wont be nifty. Oh, I’m just feelin’ dirty, so I guess I’m gettin’ wordy, where’s that duckie man? I need him here right now, squeeze him, you heard me.
Rubber duckie, I’m awfully fond of you!
cool song i hope you enjoy because i wrote it out just for you ❤
TOBOGGIAN, AR Capital- In a truly unexpected turn of events, two Army Republic legends have brought their return to an abrupt end that has left a huge hole in the Army Republic.
Two AR legends, Vinny and Burr, after leading the Army Republic through its ups and downs, have officially retired from the newly revived AR, even though this may stunt the new army’s growth, putting in place the duo of Garrett and Lord Jay on the throne. With these leaders, we will have to see how exactly the Army Republic will do after this Brobdingnagian blow to the army.
The aforementioned Army Republic has two brand new leaders, Lord Jay and Garrett, who many may call inexperienced in leading a major army, have already appointed two new owners to help them, in which were addressed in a post which follows:
Today, me and Gar, the newest leaders to the Army Republic will be giving our former Marshal Commander’s spots to two other mods, and we have one member promotion to mod for now. Both these new owners have been in the army for a long time, both of them being former owners from last gen. The member being promoted, has done a lot for this generation already, and was in last generation as well. Now, I’m not going to make this post a 300 word post so let’s just get down to who these three people are. The new Marshal Commander’s and new mod are….
These are the new people added to new ranks, the people who are in those ranks, currently are still there (being mods).
Dark Lords: Garrett, Lord JayMarshal Commander (2ic): Frigido, Poke
Regimental Commander: Jray27222/ColdBlight
According to the two new leaders, they did not want to make a post that regarded their recent inauguration, and just stated that they were two of the newest Army Republic. They also gave the rank of Marshal Commander (2ic) to two mods, Frigido and Poke, the former a decorated AR veteran.
Along with the new owners, Garrett and Lord Jay have also established a recruiting force in the wake of their recent establishment as leader in a post on the official website which follows:
As you know, we can’t get anywhere without the awesome members we have in this army. But, we need not just the members, but new CP recruits as well. In the coming weeks, I will be choosing a few very trusted moderators, as well as some members, to participate in our Army of the Republic Recruiting Force. If you are interested in being apart of the ARRF, then please contact Garrett or Lord Jay on chat or comment down below. The ranks will be as follows:
The Army Republic, after Vinny and Burr leaving the army, required new methods of recruiting, and a recent trend in recruiting, “recruiting forces,” seemed to be the answer to that. However uncertain recruiting may be, one thing is for sure; they both wish to become great AR leaders like Burr and Vinny were.
Burritodaily first joined the Army Republic in 2010, and to this day has given them his loyalty. Some claim that he is, alongside Vinny, the greatest Army Republic leader. He has led the Army Republic to the top spot on the Top Ten multiple times, along with consistent candidacy for becoming a legend; something he achieved not too long ago. Vinny, being another legendary AR leader, has also led the army to great heights.
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Interview with Lord Jay, AR Leader
CPAC: How do you think the loss of these two leaders will affect the army?
Jay: In my opinion, it wont effect us too badly. Burr and Vinny are staying in AR, to be “Active Advisors” as they call it. They are going to try to make events like a regular soldier, but without the recruiting and leading events.
CPAC: How do you think the Army Republic will perform in the near future?
Jay: I think that the Army Republic will thrive for a while, and then eventually Vinny or Burr will close it. But that is eventually and not any time soon.
CPAC: How exactly will you and Garrett101 keep the Army Republic in its prime form?
Jay: Me and Gar already have plans on what we are going to do next. I think having plans and a set schedule on what you are going to do next will greatly improve AR.
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According to Jay, the army will not be affected that much due to them, Burr and Vin, taking positions as advisers. He is very optimistic about how the army will do after the loss of the two legends. He also stated that he believes that the Army Republic will “thrive” for a while, and will eventually be closed by the two legends, Burr and Vinny. Jay seems highly optimistic, and judging from what he said, believes that there is no way for his plan to fail. As stated before, only time can tell how this exactly will play out in the coming weeks, but one thing is for sure; Burritodaily and Vinny will be greatly missed by the soldiers of the Army Republic.
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What do YOU think? Will the Army Republic ever recover? What will happen to Burr and Vinny? Tell us what YOU think!
Gingersnap
CPA Central Reporter
I expect nobody to leave the army because of my retirement. Let my departure make no difference to AR’s success. I’ll tell ya, for the past 3 weeks, AR has been led with little to no contributions made by me. You’ve seen what you can do without me, now you just have to build on that and take this army to great heights.
Click ‘Continue Reading’ to read my full retirement post.
3 long years of hard work, dedication, and exhilarating battles. 3 years of running home after school to take part in a battle, spending countless hours helping my army as best as I could. After 2 previous retirement posts, this will be my 3rd and final retirement post I will ever make. Today, June 11th, 2016 marks the day I retire from the Army Republic and depart from the CP Army Community.
I’ll tell ya, writing your last retirement post you will ever make is not the easiest task. It has to be nothing less then absolute excellence. People expect a well written, grammatically correct, and crisp post that outlines one’s accomplishments and acknowledges the people that impacted him/her. However, after reading dozens of retirement post and trying to formulate the perfect one for myself, I realize that ultimately, this post is honestly insignificant. It will never share the true story of how Armies were basically my childhood since I entered middle school with the Blizzard Warriors up until almost Senior Year in high school where I’ve stuck with one sole army for 3 years, the life long friends I’ve made, the hilarious moments that will forever be remembered. But you know what, I’ll try my best.
It all began in 2011, I was I’d say 10 or 11 running around through club penguin wearing all orange colors. I was literally running through rooms, dressed in all orange, chanting “WHAT AM I?” and people would say “Orange!” or something. I would reply with a “No, I’m a carrot!” and I’ll never forget the day I met these 2 people that were the foundation for starting it all for me. One of the room’s I kept going back to was the plaza, and there was a small group of players. Sonick64 and Bluey are the only two that I can remember of. They would always socialize with me every time I ran through chanting “WHAT AM I?” Eventually, they invited me to come to their hangout chat which I would find out to be Xat. The group was called exactly as that penguin’s name, Sonic64. I spent about a year in that chatgroup, there I created countless memories, and even met my true best friend on xat, Classfied333 or as many of you know, ColdBlight.
It was 2012 when I randomly decided to log on CP when I saw that sonic was on. I quickly pressed the follow button on his player card to see where he was, and so I followed. I found him only to be wearing light blue colors, with blue paint on his penguin holding a hockey stick. I found it pretty funny seeing him dressed like that as he always had modern looking clothes on with his penguin that had many rare items and such. He told me to come with him and so I did. He took me to the snow forts where there was a group of penguins all dressed exactly like sonic was, and so I followed along and put on the most similar clothing to what they wearing and just joined in. We did smiles, bombs, and I found it really fun. Now I didn’t know it at the time but, it turned out that the group of penguins I was with were the Blizzard Warriors Army. Once the event was over, I quickly went on the chat to get some questions answered. That’s when Sonic told me all about BW and armies in general. In theory, it could be said that Sonic64 was the one who landed me on the path of armies and I’m grateful for that.
After a month or two of being in the Blizzard Warriors and hanging out on sonic’s chat, I decided to leave BW and explore the reaches of this newly found community I found. However before that, a user that went by the name of Classified333 came on to our chat. He was a very odd person but we found him funny as he talked about pokemon a lot and just brought comedy to our chat room. I got to know him personally, and I told him all about how I joined the Blizzard Warriors and how the battles were great and all. After hearing that I was going to embark on my journey to a new army he was persistent on asking if he could come along with me. There seemed nothing wrong with it to me, so I let it happen and so me and Classified would take part on this journey together and man I can say it was a hell of a ride. The first army I remember me and him joining was the Cowboys of CP. They were an extremely fun group of friendly users. We had the best of times and got good sizes of 10-12 on CP. Sadly though, the leader went inactive for some reason and that led to the eventual death and shutdown of the Cowboys. Later on I believe that we moved onto the Lightning Strikers where there we also had some fun times but nothing close to what we experienced with the Cowboys.
Leaving LS, me and Class felt we had enough experience and thought we had enough dedication to create our own army. After days of thinking of a good name, we decided to go with the Galaxy Troopers. Sure enough we bought some GFX from SkySoon Graphics and with a little bit of work, we had a website, and a chat to start our journey to what was looking like the beginning of a legendary army. Sadly though, the experience that we thought could take us to great heights led us only to sizes of 3-5 on CP at best. About a week or two past when we decided to shut the army down.
After GT, me and class just kind of went our separate ways, dissapointed in the turnout of our newly created army. Class went on to join the Miners of CP while I joined the Pirates. At the time the pirates were being led by none other than, Waterkid! I rose through the ranks pretty quickly and somehow, I don’t know how I did it but I managed to get leader of the Pirates Army. Of course, my leadership there was a complete failure with the experience I had and I just ended up resigning and leaving.
To sum it up, the early portion of 2013 was me and Class joining multiple armies. You could call us Hoppers, but every army which me and him joined we put forth our best effort in the events and in any way we could of helped. Summer 2013 came and that’s where a journey that would last 3 years would start.
Eventually, me and Class started talking again and became good friends again. The perfect partnership was back on and we set sail for a new army. This time, we took our time looking for a good army. We couldn’t find a suitable army even through countless hours of researching armies. One day, while I was on CP just killing time I found a massive group of penguins, all wearing ghost costumes chanting “AR AR AR AR” My instincts were to put the ghost costume on, and join in. Tactics, bombs, and formations were nearly perfect. I had never experienced such a thrilling event in my life. After the event was over I was left dancing by my self not knowing it was over (lol) I quickly searched up the only term I saw them chant which was “AR” and put CP at the end of it. I found their website which was beautifully designed and the layout of it was simply perfect to put it into words. I relayed the news to Class and got him to join with me. From that moment on, I became a Sith Initiate and embarked on a journey that would last almost 3 years.
Little did I know that 2013 was the all time golden age for AR and a few other armies. If you don’t believe me, here are just a few samples of what AR looked like in the summer of 2013.
AR after the Summer of 2013
Long story short, Burr really held the army together after Vinny’s retirement. The AR from 2013 will never be forgotten and I am truly proud that I was apart of that era.
A great season with AR in 2013 had me on a leash until AR started declining. My memory is very bad, so I only remember short instances of 2013. Basically Burrito retired a little before 2013 ended and as espected, AR’s fall was imminent. With low sizes and poor leadership, my motivation to keep going dwindled and I ended up retiring that year. I took an entire year off, yes, all of 2014 I was abstinent from armies and all of CP armies. I was devastated by AR’s fall. I spent the majority of 2014 playing Roblox, where that also played a big role in my childhood but not nowhere near CP. Near the end of 2014 is when I believe me and Class returned to create yet another army, this time naming it none other than the Shadow Vikings. I bought some sick animated GFX for it and together we brought the site alive and had the chat room ready for new recruits to filled with. However, after a few days of desperately trying to get a good event in, nothing worked and I actually ended up deleting the site in anger. After a serious of failures creating a second army and countless of other armies that I joined, I retired once more and left armies for what I though was for good.
For the majority of 2015, I remained retired and didn’t come back until late 2015. Near the end of summer, 2 weeks before school to be precise, I decided why not check up on how the greatest army that I had ever joined was, AR. I came only to find an active and successful AR maxing good sizes of 15-30. Soon enough, I ended up rejoining the ranks of the republic empire. I witnessed a perfect duo leadership take place that consisted of Austin and Burr, both well known legends of the Army Republic. However, after Austin retiring and Burr simply not having enough time to lead, AR was put on lock down. I was definitely sad, but I wasn’t going to retire again and just come back later on. I had met a guy named Victory889 during that time in AR, he was a great down to earth person and I considered him a good friend. He proposed an offer to me after AR’s lock down. He had an army that he created which was called the Navy Troopers. After giving me the link to the website I saw snippets of it and was intrigued nonetheless. His offer was to help him lead the army with him. I accepted seeing the potential that this army had and so I went a long with it. Navy Troopers were a really good army honestly, me and Vic led them to 1st on SMAP and SMAC while for the first time getting them to 10th place on the CPAC top ten. It was a great moment for us.
However, to reach our full potential we knew that we need that recruiting script that at the time was Mercury. We kindly asked burr for it and he supplied the link to the program for us. We hardly knew how to work the thing, but with utter determination we got the program to work and got our recruiting regiment up and running. We started to attain more recruits at every event, we got better at making our own recruiting phrases. But then a staircase of opportunity hit us hard. We were on the brink of creating a golden age in the Navy Troopers when suddenly Burr, brought me, Vic, and DMT who at the time was leading his own army, Armed Forces, to a secret chat room. That day seriously changed my life, burr gave us all the opportunity to lead the history Army Republic Army.
Obviously all 3 of us accepted the offer. However I assure you that absolutely none of us knew what problems, walls, and barrier we were going to encounter, especially me. About two months of leading the army, everything seemed like it was going quite slow. We were pulling 15+ at best averaging 8-10 at events. Little did I know, that DMT and Vic were both going to go inactive for a full 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks of utter disappointing events and sizes really broke me down mentally. But man was it challenging as hell. Any normal leader would of called it quits and shut the army down. But me? No. I sticked with it hoping for further reinforcements came, and they did. A player by the name of Flame came along and offered to help the army for the 3 days he was going to be active on CP. Me being desperate I gave him the Okay and promoted him to 2ic right away. From that moment forward, Flame caused the short but initial rise of AR by getting us Active again. He held an event when we hadn’t had one in a week, he led events with sheer determination and put his heart into each event. He held it down for us for a solid month until then getting promoted to leader by me. But before that, the sad truth was that Vic and DMT were simply not active and the army wanted them out of the leadership position. We held an owner wide meeting to discuss what we would do with them, and sure enough they were demoted for their failure to stay active.
A few months passed and we had hit a platoe. As active and determined we were, we weren’t getting anything above 15+. Our morale was dwindling and we were in desperate need for help. That’s when God sent the angel, Burr down from the heavens to revive AR to it’s former glory. It was truly an honor to know that I would be leading alongside one of, if not the best leader AR has ever seen. Right away we saw a change in size. We went from 15+ to 20+, to getting sizes of 25-30 within the first month of November. It was truly a thrilling ride and we though that nothing could stop us. Then DW came. I forget the reason and I don’t feel like researching on the topic, but basically we went into war with them and basically demolished them. All the shit talking and flame post from freezy and them were all crushed on the battlefield by us. We ended up creating a peace treaty with them seeing as they wouldn’t surrender, but deep down we knew who really won that war.
Then came a new challenge. The army that had been 1st by nearly the entire year of 2015, the controversial figurehead DCP.
We were fully aware of the threat which was DCP. We knew what they did behind the scenes and there was multiple special reports about them made way before we went to war with them. A long time of shit talking. flame post, threats, and hacking, we declared war on them. Man did they make the biggest mistake of their life because we went into the DCP war headstrong and completely demolished them. I remember the time where we had a back to back to back event! We literally spent 1 hour and 30 minutes chasing DCP down to multiple servers because they wanted a good picture for the Top 10. Every room change, every tactic, they couldn’t move their multilogs fast enough! I really had a ton of fun watching us destroy them and crash their shockwaves only to see 10-15 penguins log off at the same time. Memories man.
I would show you a picture of what the DCP/AR war looked like but I realized that our entire media for the year for 2015 has been erased.
After DCP surrendered the war. Burr and Candy both went back into retirement, leaving the reigns of the army to be lead by Me, Flame, And Trippy. Things went well for a while, definitely not the 30-40+ sizes we saw in december but we maintained a solid force of 20+ for the majority of events we held. Sadly though, a series of procrastinating on my schoolwork and not studying for tests led to me having nearly 4 F’s on my report card. I had to retire, it was unexpected but it happened. Beforehand though, Trippy ended up retiring before me leaving me and Flame to lead the army in a duo leadership. We were ready and exited to be the best Duo leadership AR had seen since VinDaily but not even I knew that I was going to retire that soon.
Flame was left to lead alone, and he did fairly well for himself. He kept the army alive and got some good events in here and there but leading by himself with no help definitely took a toll on him. He ended up leaving and appointing Help and Lolly to the leadership position. Everything happened so suddenly that the army took a terrible fall that no one expected after the success we had in December. I spent all of January retired, having no involvement in Armies at all, fully focusing on my studies. February came and I had brought my grades up to decent standards to where I actually started having some spare time on my hands. I decided that I would return to the Republic as an advisor and help out the crumbling leadership. Little by little I started recruiting for them and gave them any advice I could give them based off what I saw burrito doing in December. Soon enough, we saw the army slowly recuperating and getting back up on it’s feet. Burr had been monitoring the site views and the army’s activity and turned to me as the only viable reason for it. He knew it was me, and so he kindly asked me to return as leader asking for nothing more then what I was already doing as an advisor.
I accepted the offer knowing that I didn’t want to return to lead until the summer but I said F it. Now I went in knowing that burr wasn’t asking a lot from me but being the person that I am, I always set high standards from me. I took AR as a full time thing and took them from abysmal sizes of 5-10 to consistent sizes of 15+. I don’t want to go into full detail about this time in AR because most of you reading this have witnessed it your self. But in short, these pictures summarize my leadership coming back from my January retirement:
I didn’t achieve this all by myself though. I will never take full credit for any of the above pictures. All of that, and every single successful event AR has always had has been because of teamwork. When wheelo came back to lead the UK division during spring break, that really boosted my determination because I knew he would pick our UK division back up. Yank and Slip are also great leaders who know what they are doing and even though they aren’t the most active of leaders, whenever those two link up during an event, it’s crazy good and they good amazing sizes. Morale of the story, I attribute my success to every single leader, owner, moderator, and recruit who showed up to every battle, and fought a strong hard war with me.
Leading AR has truly been an honor for me and it should be taking with great pride to any future leader of the republic. One thing that I’ve learned in these last couple of months leading, is that really the whole point of armies, events, battles, wars, etc. Is to have fun. You know I think that’s the main reason why the community is in a “Decline”. We all focus on a stupid Top 10 list that gets updated every week for a simple Rank that doesn’t even scratch the surface on what some of today’s leaders have to go through in order to get a spot on that list. I’ve led through some events of us just fooling around, playing at the puffle park or going down the slides at the cove. All of that represents what armies are truly about and what they were made for, to have fun. If I could leave the leaders, and the entire AR staff with some words of wisdom, it would be just that. Have fun.
I know that you guys really wanted me to give some shoutouts, but there’s way too many people for me to give an individual shout out to so i’ll only list the people who have impacted my leading career by a large margin.
A – You served as one of the greatest mentors to me. You gave me actual helpful advice and prevented me from retiring early. And you also taught me how to code in Binary! 
Burr – My teacher, my mentor, and my friend. It was an honor leading beside you and learning everything you had to teach. Without you none of the things I’ve achieved would have happened. My dream was to surpass you, but it didn’t happen. You are truly a legend in my eyes.
Wheelo – A strong willed, young mind capable of taking AR to great heights. You literally took the UK division from maxing 0 to 12 in 1 day. Keep it up man, this summer is yours.
Slip & Yank – You guys are some of the finest leading duo’s I’ve seen in a while. Together you two lead the US division perfectly. I’m honestly proud to leave AR with so much potential at hand, it’s your job to unlock that and use it to your advantage.
Ant – Another young leader. You’ve been my right hand man since early 2016 and you’ll always be one of my best friends. You have a lot of potential man, keep it up.
That about sum’s it up for the shoutouts. Again, everyone who has helped me even a little deserves a spot on this list, but I don’t want this post to drag so I’ll be ending it here. These final words that I’m typing will mark the end of an Era. And just like Ace’s death marked a significant point in one piece, so will mine. Only this will benefit AR, instead of ruining them.
AR is truly home. Treat it like it s your home, your private sanctuary blocked from the toxic cancers of the community. We’ve survived for more then 1 year being alive now, don’t let it end here. Work hard, put your heart, soul, blood sweat and tears to this army and this game, because once 3D penguin rolls out, things will be a lot different and it will be up to you to adapt to the situation. And with this I’m done dragging this post.
This is, Goodbye.
x Ace, Signing off.
AR Forever.
Hello AR. I am going to be talking about the retirements that AR has had. The Burritodaily and Vinny retirement. Click read more to read on.
Hi AR! Today is a sad day for AR. Two of our greatest leaders, Burritodaily and Vinny, have retired from AR. This brings sadness all to AR, but we can’t let it get to us. I know Burr and Vinny, they would want us to keep going like they are there. We can’t let this ruin our sizes or activity. I know you guys like Burr and Vinny but you should start talking to the new leaders. In my eyes, Slick is just like Vinny. He is a really cool guy and he is a great leader. A little note: he has lead AR before. Also Emma reminds me of Burr. She is really soft (No offense Burr :D) and easy on the troops. A good recruiter and keeps the chat organized.
AR, we are going to need you, the members/mods, to step it up a level. You are doing very well right now, but at the time we need everyone to step up. You need to be recruiting a lot. Each day gather a little group of friends and CP recruit. But seeing that isn’t working that much any more, you can just go chat recruiting. Please do not go on other armies chats and recruit from there. Have some respect for them, even if they are enemies. Also about school, be on as much as you can. But please, do not skip school work for the army. I know you are doing something good but we want you to be successful in life.
Owners, its time to bring it up as much as you can. Seeing school is starting we are all going to drop activity but we need to be on whenever you can, showing up to events and recruiting. I know myself I am going to have to plan something out with school and the army. I suggest you start doing the same. Also please be posting a lot. We need to keep the site active and making sure members and mods are checking it a lot.
AR we have the go straight through this. We can’t let this pull us down again. Everyone, step it up. Get ready, we are the Republic.
Fear The Republic
John Laurens (October 28, 1754 – August 27, 1782) was an American soldier and statesman from South Carolina during the American Revolutionary War, best known for his criticism of slavery and efforts to help recruit slaves to fight for their freedom as U.S. soldiers.[1]
Laurens gained approval from the Continental Congress in 1779 to recruit a brigade of 3,000 slaves by promising them freedom in return for fighting. He was killed in the Battle of the Combahee River in August 1782.
Early life and education
Laurens was born in 1754 to Henry Laurens and Eleanor Ball in Charleston, South Carolina; both their families were planters who had grown wealthy through cultivation of rice. Henry Laurens ran one of the largest slave trading houses in the country with his partner Richard Oswald.
John was the eldest of the five children who survived infancy. John and his two brothers were tutored at home, but after the death of their mother, their father took them to England for their education. John completed his studies in Europe, first in London in 1771, then in Geneva, Switzerland in 1772. As a youth, John expressed considerable interest in science and medicine, but he yielded to his father’s wish that he study law. In August 1774 he returned to London to do so.
His father returned to South Carolina but refused to let John return until completing his legal studies two years later. In the summer of 1777, after the Revolutionary War had started, Laurens accompanied his father to Philadelphia, where the senior man was to serve in the Continental Congress. Despite the father’s objections, the younger Laurens continued on to General George Washington‘s camp as a volunteer at the age of 23.
Career
1777–1780
Service as Washington’s aide-de-camp
Laurens joined the Continental Army, and following the Battle of Brandywine, he was officially made an aide-de-camp to General Washington with the rank of lieutenant colonel. He served with the Baron von Steuben, doing reconnaissance at the outset of the Battle of Monmouth.[2]
He became close friends with his fellow aides-de-camp, Alexander Hamilton and the General Marquis de Lafayette. He showed reckless courage at the battles of Brandywine, Germantown in which he was wounded, and Monmouth, where his horse was shot out from under him. After the battle of Brandywine, Lafayette observed that, “It was not his fault that he was not killed or wounded[,] he did everything that was necessary to procure one or t’other.”[3]
On December 23, 1778, Laurens and General Charles Lee dueled just outside Philadelphia after Laurens took offense to Lee’s slander of Washington’s character. Lee was wounded in the side by Laurens’ first shot and the affair was ended by the men’s seconds, Alexander Hamilton and Evan Edwards, before they could fire a second time.[4]
Anti-slavery and recruitment of black soldiers
As the British stepped up operations in the South, Laurens promoted the idea of arming slaves and granting them freedom in return for their service. He had said, “We Americans at least in the Southern Colonies, cannot contend with a good Grace, for Liberty, until we shall have enfranchised our Slaves.” In early 1778 he proposed to his father to use the 40 slaves he stood to inherit as part of a brigade. Henry Laurens, now President of the Continental Congress, granted his wish, but his reservations made John postpone the project.
In March 1779, Congress approved the concept of a regiment of slaves, commissioned Laurens as lieutenant colonel, and sent him south to recruit a regiment of 3000 black soldiers.
Laurens won election to the South Carolina House of Representatives, and introduced his black regiment plan in 1779 and 1780 (and again in 1782), meeting overwhelming rejection each time. Governor John Rutledge and General Christopher Gadsden opposed him. Laurens’ belief that black and white people shared a similar nature and could aspire to freedom in a republican society set Laurens apart from other leaders in revolutionary South Carolina.[1]
Battles for Charleston and Savannah
In 1779, when the British threatened Charleston, Governor Rutledge proposed to surrender the city with the condition that Carolina become neutral in the war. Laurens strongly opposed the idea, and Continental forces repulsed the British. That fall he commanded an infantry regiment in General Benjamin Lincoln‘s failed assault on Savannah, Georgia.
Laurens became a prisoner in May 1780 after the fall of Charleston, and was shipped to Philadelphia. As he was on parole, he was able to see his father, who would soon embark for the Netherlands in search of loans. (Henry Laurens’ ship was seized by the British and he was imprisoned at the Tower of London.)
1781–1782
Mission to France
After being freed by a prisoner exchange in November 1780, Laurens was appointed by Congress in December as a special minister to France.
In 1781, Colonel John Laurens accompanied Thomas Paine on a mission to France initiated by Paine.[5] Meetings with the French king were most likely conducted in the company and under the influence of Benjamin Franklin.[citation needed]
The mission arrived in France in March 1781, and Laurens gained French assurances that their navy would support American operations that year. Laurens was reported to have told the French that without aid for the Revolution, the Americans might be forced by the British to fight against France.
Laurens also arranged a loan and supplies from the Dutch before returning home. Henry Laurens (John Laurens’ father) had been ambassador to the Netherlands but was captured by the British on his return trip there. When exchanged for General Cornwallis in late 1781, the senior Laurens proceeded to the Netherlands to continue loan negotiations. Historians have questioned the relationship of Henry Laurens and Thomas Paine to Robert Morris as Superintendent of Finance and his business associate Thomas Willing. The latter became the first president of the Bank of North America in January 1782. Laurens and Paine had accused Morris of war profiteering in 1779, and Willing had voted against the Declaration of Independence.
The mission to France returned to America in August 1781 with 2.5 million livres in silver, as part of a “present” of 6 million and a loan of 10 million.
Yorktown
He returned home in time to see the French fleet arrive and to join Washington at the siege of Yorktown. He was given command of a battalion of light infantry on October 1, 1781, when its commander was killed. He led the battalion under Lt. Col. Alexander Hamilton in the storming of redoubt No. 10. Laurens was the principal spokesman for negotiating General Cornwallis‘s surrender.[citation needed]
Return to Charleston
Laurens returned to South Carolina and served General Nathanael Greene by creating and operating a network of spies that tracked British operations in and around Charleston. He learned in August 1782 of a British force movement to gather supplies, and left his post to join Mordecai Gist in an attempt to intercept them.
Death
On August 27, 1782, Laurens was shot from the saddle during the Battle of the Combahee River. Gravely wounded, Laurens was succeeded in his command by his friend and fellow opponent of slavery, Tadeusz Kosciuszko, a Polish nobleman.[6] Laurens died at the age of 27, only a few weeks before the British finally withdrew from Charleston.
Laurens was buried on the Stock plantation. After his father Henry Laurens returned from his own imprisonment in London, he had his son’s remains moved to his plantation, called Mepkin, near Moncks Corner.[7] During the mid-20th century Mepkin Plantation was owned by Henry Luce and Clare Boothe Luce. It was later adapted as a Trappistmonastery, Mepkin Abbey.
George Washington, in particular, was saddened upon learning of the death of Laurens, stating fondly:
In a word, he had not a fault that I ever could discover, unless intrepidity bordering upon rashness could come under that denomination; and to this he was excited by the purest motives.[8][9]
In his general orders, Nathanael Greene, in announcing the death of Laurens, said:
The army has lost a brave officer and the public a worthy citizen.[8]
In October 1782, Alexander Hamilton wrote of his death to Nathanael Greene:
I feel the deepest affliction at the news we have just received at the loss of our dear and inestimable friend Laurens. His career of virtue is at end. How strangely are human affairs conducted, that so many excellent qualities could not ensure a more happy fate! The world will feel the loss of a man who has left few like him behind; and America, of a citizen whose heart realized that patriotism of which others only talk. I feel the loss of a friend whom I truly and most tenderly loved, and one of a very small number.[8]
Personal life
Marriage and family
On October 26, 1776, Laurens married Martha Manning, the daughter of one of his father’s London agents. In December he sailed for Charleston, leaving Martha behind and pregnant in London. Their daughter Frances-Eleanor (1777–1860) was likely born in January 1777 and was baptized on February 18, 1777.
Sexuality and relationship with Alexander Hamilton
Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that ’till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you….You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed…
From a young age, Laurens exhibited a lack of attraction to women. When Laurens was an adolescent, Henry Laurens wrote to his friend James Grant about John’s disinterest in girls, stating, “Master Jack is too closely wedded to his studies to think about any of the Miss Nanny’s I would not have such a sound in his Ear, for a Crown; why drive the poor Dog, to what Nature will irresistably prompt him to be plagued with in all probability much too soon.”[12] As Laurens matured, his closest relationships were formed with those of the same gender; Laurens biographer Gregory D. Massey states that he “reserved his primary emotional commitments for other men.”[13] Though he eventually married, it was a union born out of regret. While in London for his studies, Laurens impregnated Martha Manning and married her to preserve the legitimacy of their child. Laurens wrote to this uncle, “Pity has obliged me to marry.”[14]
While in Washington’s camp, Laurens met and became extremely close friends with Alexander Hamilton. They exchanged many letters; while emotional language was not uncommon among those of the same gender in this historical period,[15] Hamilton biographer James Thomas Flexner states that the intensely expressive language contained in the Hamilton-Laurens letters “raises questions concerning homosexuality” that “cannot be categorically answered”.[16] In an April 1779 letter to Laurens, Hamilton made frequent use of sexual innuendo. After jokingly listing the qualities he desired in a wife, Hamilton asked Laurens to give any potential candidates a full description of his qualities:
To excite their emulation, it will be necessary for you to give an account of the lover—his size, make, quality of mind and body, achievements, expectations, fortune, &c. In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I ⟨– – – – –⟩.[10]
Five words at the end of this passage were crossed out by John Church Hamilton when compiling his father’s letters, and at the top of the page, he wrote, “I must not publish the whole of this.”[10]
Prior to his marriage to Elizabeth Schuyler, Hamilton wrote to Laurens to reassure him that their relationship would not be diminished:
In spite of Schuylers black eyes, I have still a part for the public and another for you; so your impatience to have me married is misplaced; a strange cure by the way, as if after matrimony I was to be less devoted than I am now.[17]
Hamilton then went on to invite Laurens to be present for “the final consummation” of his wedding, planned for the Fall on December 14, 1780[18] Hamilton biographer Ron Chernow concludes that while no relationship can be conclusively proven, he is led to believe that Hamilton had “at the very least” an “adolescent crush” on Laurens.[15] Chernow also states that “Hamilton did not form friendships easily and never again revealed his interior life to another man as he had to Laurens. […] After the death of John Laurens, Hamilton shut off some compartment of his emotions and never reopened it.”[19] Laurens’ letters to Hamilton were noted to be less frequent and, in comparison to Hamilton’s, less passionate, but many letters written by Laurens have been lost or destroyed.[15]
Hello, for the first time in awhile, but for the last time, AR.
Today we logged on to Toboggan to invade it for the last time from SWAT. It is now ours forever, as today is the last day AR is alive. With the shut down of Club Penguin, we figured we would invade our prized server we have held close to for the last 5 years. We easily got 55 on CP, and got very close to 60, then sizes fell off a little bit due to the bots who raided our event. I would just like to shoutout Silverbug(Left the r out of his name because he doesn’t deserve it) for bringing stupid bots to our final event. General Fury scared away the bots from Toboggan as we claimed victory and we decided to switch servers to Southern Lights to continue our event.
I would like to say, I am very happy to have been a leader to all of you when I was in my prime. Believe it or not I learned so much from being in this army and leading you all. I saw many old faces today and to be honest it was quite refreshing and nostalgic. It brought the memories back, the memories of the time this community was actually fun. It is sad though that people still have nothing better to do with their lives than to ruin an army’s last event. But like in our golden days, we found ways to still have our event. Thank you to everyone who participated, you guys rock. Here are the pictures of today’s event, and for the last time, this is Vinny, AR Legend.
~ Vinny, AR Legend
As you are all obviously aware by now, Saturday will be AR’s big finale. The current soldiers and leaders have done well maintaining AR since the big three’s final departures, but I’m calling on you guys one last time before we send this great army off.
Recently, that one army that comes back every other month (SWAT) had the audacity to invade Toboggan a matter of mere days before we shut down. The idea of AR shutting down without laying claim to its capital of four years is, of course, unacceptable. Believe me, we’ve kicked SWAT’s ass numerous times in the past, (they usually served as a warm up before we took on some more formidable opponents) but obviously times have changed and AR isn’t in shape for war.
That is why I’m calling on you guys to invade and ensure you maintain control of Toboggan before we finally say goodbye. I don’t care what you have to do. If you have to invade it 5 times in two days, or whatever… Toboggan is AR’s and it will belong to us in its final hours.
You guys have done wonders for this army the last two years, but now it is time to finish what so many of us started and paved for you. Thank you.
ar is d e a d
Disclaimer: This page is made for AR members only those who are retired but are no longer active or are not in AR this page does not apply to you, this page is made for the enjoyment of AR members and active vets.(note: this page is voluntary and not mandatory in any way. Talk to Video about signing up or participating!!)
- About
- How to Sign Up
- Business List
- Bank Accounts
- Industry Rules/Policies
- Company List
- Trading Hubs
- Industrialized Server List
- Transactions/Trades or Payments
- Industrial Map
- Shop (new)
Hello welcome to the AR industry page!! This page sums up those who own businesses and companies in AR. We do not use “dollars” or “euros” We use “SoulCoins” aka “Souls” The international symbol for Souls are “⌬” This page will give you information on who is basically the richest person in AR and will be managed by Video. (AR banking holds the right to foreclose on any persons business under the notice you become inactive for more than 2 weeks for no given or valid reason.) Each server can only hold 15 factories, grass fields, etc. at one time so only 15 businesses can be built in total on one server. Each AR member/vet will earn ⌬50 per event of activeness in AR (If active 7 days a week ⌬350 per week if you attend 1 event per day)[The AR Bank holds the right to modify and change any of our policies, rules and to add new policies and rules as to how the economy is ran.]
How To Sign Up
To sign up comment with the following shown below Note: you do not need to borrow money from the AR Bank to apply.
- Your alias or username
- Will you apply to borrow money from the AR bank for your own business?
- If you said yes to question 2 what business will you apply for?
- If you answered question 3 which server(note: it must be a server owned by AR) will this business start on?
- Do you agree to and promise to follow the rules listed below?
Business List
Videogames121- Owns 9 pizza factories. Started on: Toboggan.Total net worth: ⌬315,000 per year and roughly ⌬5,607 per week.
Sairal- Owns 1 Farm on Toboggan. Total net worth: ⌬25,000 per year and roughly ⌬481 per week.
RaageRobot- Owns 1 Steel Mill on Snow Plow. Total net worth: ⌬55,000 per year and roughly ⌬1,058 per week.
MemeBean- Owns 1 Electricity Plant on Hibernate. Total net worth: ⌬54,000 per year and roughly ⌬1,038 per week.
Ali- Bankrupt
Percy- Owns 1 Boat Yard on Toboggan. Total net worth ⌬38,000 per year and ⌬731 per week.
Daniella- Owns 3 Gas Company. Started On: Hibernate. Total net worth ⌬174,000 per year and ⌬3,345 per week.
Alisa- Owns 1 Tea Factory on Southern Lights. Total net worth: ⌬40,000 per year and ⌬769 per week.
Bank Accounts
Sairal- ⌬2,424 Debt: None
Video- ⌬18, 262 Debt: None
RaageRobot- ⌬19,362 Debt: None
MemeBean- ⌬30,302 Debt: None
Percy- ⌬1,674 Debt: ⌬800 (total)⌬850 per week(mortgage)
Coffee-⌬10,600 Debt: None
Daniella-⌬13,922 Debt: None
Alisa-⌬18,203 Debt: None
[All debts are due Sunday]
INDUSTRY RULES
The AR Banking Co. holds the rights to modify or add onto our rules and policies.
If you’re are interested in owning a certain company you have to be active and attend 3 events in a row to borrow funds from the AR bank and run you’re own show! All borrowed funds will be planned for and may result in a deduction of souls from your weekly payment until debts are fully paid off.(Talk to Video for information about owning you’re own business in the AR industry)
The AR bank although an industry it is completely controlled by the AR Trustees of the AR Banking Co.
The AR Trustees consist of the leaders and owners of AR.
- Debts must be paid off overtime per week, the amount of payment will be decided on the amount of money owed and will be negotiated over between the people affiliated with the payment.
- Debts are to be made official by commenting on the Industry page or having a Trustee witness the interaction.
- If a player is unable to pay off a weekly debt they are officially considered bankrupt and the bank will foreclose on all or any property owned by said individual to pay off the total amount owed.
- Industrialists can only take over or create other industries or businesses once they conquer the industry or business they started as.
- Industrial Takeovers: To take over another industry owned by another industrialist you must take over their business on the server you desire. To take over a business you must challenge the owner to a game. (Challenger picks the game/or challenge played) The winner of the challenge keeps the property gambled on. If you challenged the owner of the property and lost then you must pay the owner a compensation for their time, the amount you pay will be issued by the bank. The challenger is required to accept any challenge given to them, and you are only required to accept 1 challenge a day per person. Any other challenges may be accepted if the challenged company accepts. The challenger is given the rights to postpone any challenge in the event it intervenes with other activities the challenged are dedicated to.
- All servers owned by AR can only fit a maximum of 15 company owned properties at a time.
- Companies and Industry owners have the right to sell properties to other companies and people.
- If any affiliated members have concerns of how AR Banking Co. is ran you are given the right to list well thought-out issues and ideas that will benefit the AR Industry.
- Each participant of the AR Industry will receive a weekly income based on their daily participation in AR and will be added into said persons account at the end of the week. ( on Sunday )
- You can not borrow money from the AR Bank if you are already in debt.
- If you fail to pay a weekly debt then the debt doubles and eventually you will be declared bankrupt.
- To earn your profits you must attend 3 events throughout each week to gain your company/business profits.
- If you attended an event you must comment on the post for the event to show proof you attended.
- The bank only allows the borrowing of money for those who are barely starting out in the Industry any others who alread earned a business are excluded from borrowing money form the AR Banking Co.
[Rules updated: Saturday, September 24th 2016]
Companies List
Each person will be able to choose a company to try and own on this list. If you wish for a company to be added on this list talk to Videogames121. All Property Value increases by ⌬ 300 per business owned.
Steel Mills-Produces: ⌬ 55,000 per year and ⌬ 1,058 per week Costs: ⌬8,000 per mill
Steel Mines-Produces: ⌬57,000 per year and ⌬ 1,096 per week Costs: ⌬ 8,500 per Mine
Iron Mines-Produces: ⌬ 50,000 per year and ⌬ 961 per week Costs: ⌬ 7,800 per mine
Diamond Mines-Produces: ⌬ 68,000 per year and ⌬ 1,307 per week Costs: ⌬ 11,000 per mine
Mining Trade Hub-(located on Toboggan) ⌬10,000 per week Costs: 126,000(This trading includes all mines and mills)
Coal Mines-Produces: 48,000 per year and ⌬ 923 per week Costs: ⌬ 6,200 per mine
Gold Mines-Produces: ⌬60,000 per year and ⌬1,154 per week Costs: ⌬10,600 per mine
Electric Plants-Produces: ⌬ 54,000 per year and ⌬ 1,038 per week Costs: ⌬ 7,500 per Plant
Water Company– Produces: ⌬50,000 per year and ⌬961 per week Costs: ⌬7,800 per building
Gas Company-Produces: ⌬58,000 per year and ⌬1,115 per week Costs: ⌬ 8,000 per building (taken)
Utility Trading Hub-(located on Toboggan) ⌬5,000 per week Costs: ⌬128,000(This includes all utilities like Gas, Electricity, and Water)
Pizza Factories-Produces: ⌬35,000 per year and ⌬673 per week Costs:⌬4,000 per factory
Pizza Trading Hub-(located on Ice Age) ⌬600 per week Cost: ⌬ 112,000
Pizza Restaurants-Produces: ⌬ 45,000 per year and ⌬ 865 per week Costs: ⌬ 6,000 per restaurant
Grass Fields- Produces: ⌬20,000 per year and ⌬384 per week Costs: ⌬3,000 per Field(taken)
Meat Factories-Produces: ⌬35,000 per year and ⌬673 per week Costs: ⌬3,500 per Factory
Food Trading Hub-(located on server Snowbound, this trade includes grass, meat, and farms) ⌬2,300 per week Cost: ⌬120,000
Farm Fields-Produces: ⌬25,000 per year and ⌬481 per week Costs: ⌬3,100 per field (This company grows any type of food/plant usually grown like cotton and potatoes etc.)
Tea Factories-Produces: ⌬40,000 per year and ⌬769 per week Costs: ⌬4,500 per Factory(taken)
Tea Trading Hub-(located on server Snowbound) ⌬900 per week Costs: ⌬112,000
Boat Yards-Produces: ⌬38,000 per year and ⌬731 per week Costs: ⌬4,200 per Yard
Boat Trading Hub-(located on server Hibernate) ⌬2,000 per week Costs: ⌬ 116,000
Boat Docks-Produces: ⌬40,000 per year and ⌬769 per week Costs: ⌬4,500 per Dock
Textile Factories-Produces: ⌬52,000 per year and ⌬1,000 per week Costs: ⌬6,200 per factory
Textile Trading Hub-(located on server Snow Cap) ⌬1,000 bonus for all Textile businesses Cost: ⌬118,000
Textile Stores-Produces: ⌬50,000 per year and ⌬962 per week Costs: ⌬6,800 per store
Coffee Bean Fields-Produces: ⌬35,000 per year and ⌬673 per week Costs: ⌬3,500 per Field
Coffee Trading Hub-(located on server Snowboard) ⌬800 bonus for all coffee businesses Cost: ⌬115,000
Coffee Shops-Produces: ⌬45,000 per year and ⌬865 per week Costs: ⌬6,000 per Shop
Soda Factories-Produces: ⌬60,000 per year and 1,154 per week Costs: 10,200 per factory
Soda Trading Hub-(located on server Ice Age) ⌬9,000 for all Soda affiliated businesses(adds ⌬500 bonus profits to all Soda Franchise businesses) Costs: ⌬119,000
Soda Franchise-Produces: ⌬ 50,000 per year and ⌬962 per week ( adds a bonus ⌬1,000 to all soda factories) Costs: ⌬ 8,900 per Franchise
Cake Shops-Produces: ⌬46,000 per year and ⌬885 per week Costs: ⌬6,500 per shop
Desert Trading Hub-(located on server Ice Age) ⌬6,000 bonus for all desert businesses affiliated Costs: ⌬114,000
Cookie Shops-Produces: ⌬44,000 per year and ⌬846 per week Costs: ⌬5,850
Soup Cafe- Produces: ⌬46,000 per year and ⌬846 per week Costs: ⌬5,850
Soup Trading Hub-(located on server: SnowBound) ⌬5,600 bonus for all soup businesses affiliated. Costs: ⌬105,000
Soup Factory- Produces: ⌬35,000 per year and ⌬673 per week. Costs: ⌬3,500
Trading Hubs
Trading hubs are areas where your business products are sold around the globe! To own a trading hub you must own the entire industry or Industries it represents to purchase them. Trading hubs boost all your affiliated businesses by the amounts shown above.
Industrialized Server List
Video- Toboggan, Hibernate, Snowbound, Ice Age, Tundra, Big Snow, Caribou, Crystal, Icicle
(business #1)
Sai- Toboggan (business #1)
RageRobot- Snow Plow (business #1)
MemeBean- Hibernate (business #1)
Percy- Toboggan (business #1)
Daniella- Hibernate (business #1)
Alisa- Southern Lights (business #1)
Transactions
Any type of transaction like a trade or you winning a bet with someone etc. over souls is to be commented below:
- Your name?
- State your business. Are you giving someone souls or trying to collect souls from someone?
- If you are giving/requesting souls who are you trying to give/request souls from?
- How many souls are you using?
- If you are trying to request souls from someone state why you are collecting them.
- If you are buying a property, what property is it?(note: The purchasing of properties must abide to the rules mentioned above)
- If you are buying a property which server will it be on?
You must fill the above out in the comments section otherwise I will not update it. If there is any debate on someones transaction please contact Videogames121 through xat, kik, skype etc. NOTE: If you are requesting money from someones account due to a bet or other reason your account will not be updated until the request is validated by the person the souls are coming from.
Industrial Map
(Note: This map was made by Army Republic travelers and may not be accurate or match any other maps seen. This map does not represent ACP or Nachos, but only represents AR’s Industry.)
If you find it difficult to read click this link —-> https://bluejaysdontrulejk.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/ars-industry-map1.png <——- This is the direct link to the Industry Map.
Now the Industry map took 8 years for AR Travelers to piece together the land marks by drawings. Now after all this time I present to you their hard work! This map does not serve any real purpose just for those who prefer a map. This map may appear similar to other maps you may see but still very much different as we all live on the same land marks just different land surveyors work for us.
(Is up to date.)
Key:
AR = Gray
ACP = Green
Nachos = Orange
Pink Squares = Capital Servers
Yellow Squares = Major Trade Point
Brown Squares = Good natural supplies (+200 souls for all businesses owned in that region)
Kings = Dark blue
Shop
This is the Industrial shop. Here you can trade souls into the bank for specific upgrades that can boost your businesses or boost your profile in Army Republic! This is a work in progress as it is currently a new addition to the Industry. The AR Bank reserves the right to change or modify any prices of anything we hold for sale. What is for sale is in color code to the business it “boosts” or “upgrades” if they have no specific color they apply to any and all companies. Example: “!” would stand for the business it would represent.
Migrant Workers– Cheap labor allows your profits to boost as you pay less for labor. Increases all profits by ⌬800 (without managers profits go down by ⌬300) Companies Applied:! ! ! ! Price: ⌬5,000
Managers- Great way to maintain proper work in your divisions. Increases profits of all applied by ⌬500 Companies Applied:All Companies ! Price: ⌬10,000
Bessemer Process- This is a process once adopted by Andrew Carnegie the great Prince of Steel! Doubles all profits of any Steel Mills. Companies Applied:Steel Mills ! Price: ⌬25,000
Child Labor- This is a harsh yet real way to save money. Increases profits of all companies applied by ⌬900 Companies Applied: All Mines, All Factory based companies. Price: ⌬15,000
Solar Tech.- This technology is the latest and best way to conserve energy. Increases profits by ⌬1,000 Companies Affiliated: Electric Plants Price: ⌬14,000
Experienced Artists- These creative professionals will enhance the looks of all your desert goods guaranteed. Doubles all profits of businesses affiliated. Companies Affiliated: ! Price: ⌬25,000
Political Power- Corruption takes many forms. When you influence workers in your belief or simply through pay raise either way corrupt. Increases all companies applied by ⌬2,000 for only two weeks. Companies Affiliated: !
Automatic Promotion to your next AR Rank- This is a thing that will never get old on the shelves of a shop! Automatically promotes you to your next rank unless you are 2ic. Price: ⌬1,500,000
This page is dedicated to the AR troops who left an incredible lasting impression and mark in our army. Only those who changed AR for the better or helped make AR what it is today are added. This page is for the best of soldiers to fight under the AR banner. Work hard and show incredible loyalty and someday, you too may be added on this page.
Here is a list of all of AR’s Leaders in order:
1st. 122344a
2nd Bluejays1236
3rd Mooha15
4th 122344a(2)
5th Juliansk8
6th Bartsimp52
7th BuritoDaily
8th Shadowclub6
9th Austin 10th
Grant42 11th
Bigguy28 12th (With Tymatt)
Tymatt 12th
Ianroach 13th
Vinny 14th
BuritoDaily(2) 15th
Keith09 16th
Crossleader 17th
Boofgall1 18th
Vinny(2) 20th
Bartsimp52(2) 21st
BuritoDaily(3) 22nd
Tymatt(2) 23rd
Bartsimp52(3) 24th
Teal Violin 25th
BuritoDaily(4) 26th
Slip 27th
Vinny(3) 28th
Austin(2)29th
ShadowClub6(2) 30th
BuritoDaily(5)* 31st
Vinny (4) 32nd
Tymatt(3)33rd
Vinny(5)34th
BuritoDaily(5) 35th
122344a(3)36th
Lbk 38th
Austin(3)39th
Capncook 40th
*Fluffy Sheep 40th-51st as AUS leader*
Vinny(6) 41st
Antant98 42nd
Lord Jay 43rd
Slick/Boofgall1(2)44th
Emmarose 45th
Candy/Fury 46th
Yoangelyo 47th
Theory 48th
122344a(4) 49th
Buritodaily(6) 50th
Vinny(7th) 51st
Lord Pain 52nd
Trippy 53rd
Orange 54th
Vinny (8th) 55d
Buritodaily (7th) 56rd
Garrett 57th
Lord Jay (2) 58th
Sapper Cowboy 59th
Orange (2) 60th
Frigido 61st
Buritodaily (8th) 62nd
Vinny (9th) 62nd
Ace 63rd
Victory889 64th
Doctor Mine Turtle 65th
Flame 66th
Tyler 67th
Trippy (2nd) 68th
Candy/Fury (2nd) 69th
Burr (9th) 70th
Slip (2nd) 71st
Lolly 72nd
Help 73rd
Teh Pie 74th
Ace (2nd) 75th
Ryan 76th
Yankees 77th
Flame(2) 78th
Sapper(2) 79th
Sairal Heifer 80th
Wheelo (2nd) 81st
Fury (3rd) 82nd
Videogames121 83rd
TheMemeBean 84th
Current Leaders: Sai & MemeBean
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Here are some of the AR Army’s greatest soldiers (not in any specific order; some are still active):
Please note: If you have to ask to be a legend on the AR legends page, then you are not ready to be a legend on the AR legends page.
- —Juliansk8– First AR leader following AR’s revival in 2010. Although his service was short and his methods proved to be unorthodox, he was able to extend AR’s influence and power to heights it had never seen. By working with Bart and A, Julian was able to contribute to AR being known by much of the larger armies of the community and help AR begin reaching consistent sizes in the double digits.
- —Remy Ego– Remy held prolonged service to AR throughout most of 2008. While his individual contributions didn’t aid significantly in AR’s overall success, he was able to incessantly recruit friends and random Club Penguin users to join AR’s cause. Even though many of his recruits didn’t stay with AR, his efforts proved useful in spreading the word about AR in the early days.
- –Buritodaily– One of AR’s greatest leaders. He has kept AR in the top 5 and lead them to number one more times than any other leader. He has even brought AR to some appearances as the number one army in all of club penguin warfare. He is probably an army legend in general. At a critical point in AR’s history, he took AR from a certain death and transcended them into the most powerful army in Club Penguin. Because of his impact, AR has been able to become a long-lasting army in the community and be considered a force not to be reckoned with. Burr’s console and presence unceasingly prove useful in guiding AR through seemingly insuperable obstacles, helping AR withstand nearly all tragedies that may strike it.
- –Ianroach– One of AR’s most dedicated and responsible soldiers during AR’s 2010 revival. He closely served under Julian, A, Bart, and Grant, and was able to utilize what he learned from them to soon become a magnificent AR leader, aiding in leading AR further into sizes of 20+ — which at the time was large. Ian fought in nearly every AR battle alongside his best friend, ibob2, and proved to be useful in AR’s negotiations with ACP and UMA by the end of 2010. Despite his retirement, his legacy lives on in AR and he occasionally provides necessary guidance and advice for modern AR leaders.
- –Freddy– A leader of AR who refused to give up on AR no matter what the cost.
- –122344a– Creator of AR
- –Vinny– Most definitely AR’s greatest leader alongside his partner in crime, Buritodaily. With him AR’s seen sizes of 40-50 and 30-35 on a constant basis. He keeps the army organized and focused, he revolutionized this army from what it was in 2010, to it’s greatness now. Without him in April 2011, the army wouldn’t be what it is today. The greatest war general the community has seen during his reign, he was the leader who magnified and glorified the AR as a war machine. Was scared of no one and hindered war at the most possible chance. War was his motto, and was the greatest help in the revolutionizing the AR. Definitely the greatest leader along with Buritodaily. (VinDaily)
- —Twister110– Oldest AR soldier that has been seen lately, he joined in November 2007 and is a very dedicated soldier who found his way to AR chat in 2010.
- —Bluejays1236– AR’s second leader. Blue is considered to be one of AR’s greatest leaders due to his ability to effectively raise awareness of AR’s presence in the community.
- –Darkstar262– Darkstar joined AR in early 2009, and displayed true dedication over the years. He’s prospered in multiple of his lapses within AR, attaining ranks of 2ic and 3ic throughout 2010 and 2011 as well. He has rejoined many times since his initial arrival, and demonstrated his commitment during his long terms by bringing many new faces to the army, including those that would engender great change.
- –Tippy Tyler- A very interesting soldier. He first joined in 2010 and was always loyal to AR since then. Although he wasn’t exactly the most matured of troops, but he gave all the troops a good laugh when they needed it the most. He is a nice guy even if he isn’t always exactly the most aware. His most famous lines were as followed. “Tippy, what are your opinions on 9/11?” “9/11? F*** Abraham Lincoln!!!” Oh Tippy. We never will forget you!
- –Austin- A leader who began the revolution in how AR worked in late 2010. Without him AR would not be how it is today, organized, and a growing army. Much of the credibility goes to him, and not just for the revolution to change AR, but his leadership was extraordinary, he never gave up on AR, and still never will, even as a retired leader he still assists AR more than you could imagine.
- –Royilumbo- Joined AR in mid-2012 and showed nothing but true dedication and loyalty to the army. He was a soldier like no other, he earned respect from most of the army, and still does have that same respect as a retired soldier. Roy always loved to recruit, and at the same time he was able to keep the chat entertained, and lure more soldiers into the AR and at the same time able to obtain AR Soldier of the Year For 2012. He changed AR in many ways, whether it was giving us a positive spirit in every battle, his sense of humor, or his excellent ability to gain AR the soldiers it needs. I can honestly say I salute him, and I cannot thank him enough for his service.
- Smart Alec4- One of the most active and well respected soldiers of his time. His career began in the ACP, and over time making his way over to AR in 2010. Although Alec wasn’t like most soldiers, he was always one with mellifluous attitude and easily one to restore an idyllic era to AR. He was one of the most active I’ve ever seen and his dedication was above and beyond the call of duty. He formed the first organized AR divisions such as the Phantom, Shadow, and Specter division. His dedication and passion for the army is not able to be described with words. He is truly one who deserves legend in the Army of the Republic. I wish Alec luck with his future endeavors.
- Fluffy Sheep (Superaalden)- Leader of the greatest AUS Division in AR history, also founder of the first successful AR News Site (The AR Sheep Times). Sheep influenced many of his followers to join AR and additionally served as a marvelous source of guidance for the US division in 2013-2014. Sheep’s perseverance and willingness to succeed demonstrated his commitment on a whole new level, proving to all of AR’s soldiers and legends that he was a leader like no other.
- Sapper Medic- Sapper was one of AR’s later leaders, but also an extremely committed soldier. He served under Vindaily and a few other leaders besides them as well. Since the end of 2012 Sapper has always lent AR the help it needs, and until today he proved to be a great soldier and a great leader. Despite numerous obstacles in his way such as small size and issues with the higher ranks, Sapper never gave up on the army. His pugnacious attitude to keep AR alive was what held the army together, and despite the army not meeting his expectations at times; Sapper never turned his back on the army. He is truly a worthy legend who was one of the most determined leaders in AR’s history, and a great soldier.
- Candy- Candy—who also abides by the aliases Proteus and Fury—was recruited into AR near the end of 2010. Following his initial arrival, Candy departed from the army for a brief period of time, and later returned for the dawn of Burito and Vinny’s prime. From there, Candy displayed incessant, unconditional loyalty that proved to be notably beneficial for the army as a whole. As an owner, he assured the multitudes of soldiers complied with AR’s conduct, and helped guide an innumerable amount of individuals within the army as well. In 2013, Candy attained the rank of leader—shortly following Burito and Vinny’s retirement—and managed to sustain AR’s remarkable sizes for a prolonged duration of time. Subsequently, after his leadership’s conclusion, Candy has served as a source of guidance for newer leaders, and even has joined AR’s inner circle alongside Burr, Vinny and 122344a. Undoubtedly, his unceasing commitment to AR is acclaimed by many, and his profound ability to overcome ostensibly insurmountable obstacles holds the same significance.
- Victory889- Although his reign as leader of AR in 2015 was brief, his faithful service to the army as an owner before cannot be ignored. From the countless penguins he has created to the events he has served in, Victory is an AR legend.
- Wheelo- AR’s first and only successful UK/European division leader. At a time when divisions were crucial, AR stepped up to carry the UK sector of AR and guide it through many wars helping lead AR to its golden age of 2013.
- Ace- A truly benevolent leader who defied all odds that stood between AR and true progress. Ace rose to the prominent position of leader in 2015 and served until June 2016. While handling a multitude of domestic and foreign issues, Ace worked tirelessly to preserve AR for what it was. Through sheer determination Ace brought AR out of slump after slump, and managed to elevate it to the greatness it once held a myriad of times. He is considered one of AR’s most devoted leaders and will not be forgotten by the AR soldiers of the past or the present.
- Nick (Tripy)- Like his cousin, Candy, Nick arose in the golden age of 2013 as a future AR great. Although his multiple eras as leader were often short, he successfully maintained AR as it went through its many transitions following the golden age. He is currently leading the army once again and hoping to take it further than it has ever been
- Slip – Slip joined AR in the dawn of 2012, and worked his way up the ranks through pure dedication and incessant toil. His ability to follow orders and carry them out flawlessly proved to be useful in a myriad of wars—especially within AR’s later battles against LT and multiple Black Alliance members. His background in UMA gave him a noteworthy amount of experience prior to his arrival, allowing him to distinguish right from wrong with great ease. During his later years, Slip served as a source of guidance for newer leaders, aiding them in making beneficial decisions regarding AR as a whole. While multitudinous leaders and veterans go on to counsel newer generations, Slip continues to stand by the army through both troubling and thriving periods of time, assisting in any possible way he can.
- Frigido – Prior to serving in AR, Frigido (Frig) also served as a longtime member within ACP throughout 2009 and 2010. Towards the end of 2010, however, Frig renounced his ACP rank and committed himself to AR. Despite multiple soldiers leaving AR for extended periods of time and returning later on, Frig continuously served in AR until the end of his leadership that began in June of 2015. During his early years, Frig served as a dedicated member, attending practically every event and proposing new ideas for the army to utilize. As a moderator and owner, he was able to enforce his ideas regarding recruitment, leadership, and relationships with other armies. While Frig isn’t notorious for his brief leadership, he is definitely famous for his unceasing commitment to the army, especially when he was announced to be AR’s longest consecutively serving soldier during the end of 2014. His skills as an amazing soldier and source of counsel for the army are truly remarkable, and he will always prove that he is one of AR’s most memorable and honorable members.
sometimes i wonder why i put time into these things?????
in memory of all of the drawings lolly lost when her computer dies
</3
Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence
“Fools” said I
“You do not know, silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the signs said
“The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whisper’d in the sounds of silence
[Narrator]
This is Bo Burnham
He is 22 years old
He’s a male
And he looks like the genetic product of a giraffe having sex with Ellen DeGeneres
He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples
He’s isolated himself, over the last 5 years, in the pursuit of comedy
And in doing so
Has lost touch with reality
You’re an asshole, Bo
You hear me?
You think you know better than me
You think you know better than everybody
You will die alone
And you will deserve it
But in the meantime
You might as well tell those silly jokes of yours
See if that helps
Welcome to the show
This is Bo
This is his show
And Bo likes to dance like this
Welcome to the show
This is Bo
This is his show
And Bo takes off his pants like this
Play an invisible drum
Play an invisible trumpet (Trumpet Sound)
Drink some invisible water
Oh shit that water’s real!
Magic isn’t real, you idiot
Read a book
Magic isn’t real, you idiot
Read a book
Magic isn’t real, you idiot
Read a book
Magic isn’t real
Or is it?
And at that moment
Bo’s 20-year old cynicism melted into child-like wonder
He never knew their could be so much magic in the world
It’s a world of possibilities Bo
What do you want to do first?
Run?
Yeah, sure you can run
Fly?
Well, Yeah, you can fly
What?
What are you-
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
Stop, s, stop it
The f-
You fucking idiot
Stop, stop, stop
Anyways
In the distance
Bo saw a beautiful fairy
A fairy so beautiful
That he felt proud about being called one in high school
He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard
Bo knew that he’d have to answer a riddle to get by
The troll spoke thus
[Troll]
Alright, for the last time man
I’m not a troll, I’m homeless
Okay, do you have any spare change?
Okay, that’s a used napkin
I don’t want that
No, no
Stop, just-
You know what
Leave
Just leave
Please leave
[Bo Burnham]
And then
As Bo arrived on the other side of the stage
He saw a unicorn, with five horns, right in front of him
And the penta-corn spoke thus
Hello Bo
I’ve been looking for you for quite a long ti-
(Gunshots) (Reloads Gun) (More Gunshots)
He was safe
For now
But the dark thoughts would soon return
(It’s Godzilla!)
(Godzilla Shrieking)
(Screaming)
(Buildings Crashing)
It’s so hard to be a lizard
It’s hard to be a lizard (What did we do God? What did we do) (He killed my wife)
Tiny arms, itchy gizzard (That monster killed my wife) (Why is he singing!?)
It’s hard to be a lizard (He’s a monster) (Why!?)
But it’s harder to segue
Is he skiing?
Or is he in a gay porn?
Is he skiing? What?
Or is he in a gay porn?
Is he skiing? Huh?
Or is he in a gay porn?
Here’s a hint
He’s in a gay porn
Okay Bo, this miming shit is getting pretty annoying
So give them the real thing
[Bo Burnham]
This is the end of the song
And the Beginning of the show
Welcome to the show!
[Stand-up]
That lizard part was pretty fucking stupid
We’re uh
We’re recording part of the CD tonight
And yeah, good to start off with 8 minutes of mime jokes, for the Cd
I want to start off with a joke for my fellas
I don’t feel like I connect with my men in the audience
As well as I do with my, prepubescent girls
Where my fellas at!? Fellas!?
Yo fellas
Don’t you hate it when you’re sucking a guy’s dick
And he ends up being a faggot?
Am I right?
These fucking faggots with their tasty dicks
Alright
If you’d like to leave during the show
The exit signs are marked clearly in red
Sort of an orangish, redish, fiery red
So we’ll be fucked if we need them
But we can see them now!
This show is called “what.”
And I hope there’s some surprises-
Oh, knocked the water over by accident
[Song starts playing]
He meant to knock the water over
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But you all thought it was an accident
But he meant to knock the water over
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Art is a lie
Nothing is real
[Stand-up]
So it’s called “what.”
And uh, it’s about
Hey Cool it
[Stand-up]
Take it off repeat, it won’t
This is the good thing
We can edit all this
In the actual Cd recor-
[Stand-up]
What’s the deal with segue’s?
Uh, Food jokes
Let’s do some food jokes
How you guys doing in the nosebleeds?
Up-top?
Yes, the nosebleeds
Where the cocaine is done
I had a hot dog for breakfast in Madison actually this morning
Yeah, afterwards I felt like this
(Picks up stool and swings it around)
Because I couldn’t control my stools
Alright, Jesus
For the people listening
I moved the stool around a lot
This is going to get difficult
But I’m glad you like poop-based puns
They’ll be a majority of the show
Never waste a moment!
Every moment could become a comedy moment!
(This is a song about how sad I am
Just picture a depressed onion cutting himself.)
I met a homeless man named Rich
*He wasn’t
Isn’t that terrible
I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn’t have any legs
I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating
*I saw a woman who had twelve miscarriages buy a carton of eggs
*I saw a giraffe who had a short neck That was sad, or a deer
I saw a man with only one eye in a 3D movie
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his mother’s corpse
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped and he hung himself
I saw a kid with red hair
The world’s so fucking sad bro
*Pain, starvation, AIDs
*Pain, war, genocide, racism, sexism
But I gotta remember there are good things about it too
Like the fact that none of that is happening to me
Still though it’s hard not to be sad about it
How do y’all do it?
I’ve been telling you terribly sad things this whole song you haven’t been sad at all
You’ve been laughing
That’s it, laughter, it’s the key to everything
It’s the way to solve all the sadness in the world
I mean, not for people who are actually said, but for the people like us who’ve gotta fucking deal with ‘em all the time
Being a comedian isn’t being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, it’s being a hero!
The world isn’t sad. The world’s funny! I get it now! I’m a sociopath!
I saw an old man slip and fall; what a fucking idiot
I saw a woman at her daughter’s funeral
Hahaha! Classic comedy!
Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now
The Holocaust and 9/11?
That shit’s funny 24/7 cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about, because my empathy is bumming me out
Goodbye sadness! Hello jokes
literally no effort was put into this post but i’m still gonna post it
im gonna leave some neato notes here so here you go
sai (one of the few people who matter lol) : you are great ilu
pepper (one of the few people that matter lol) : press f for respects
video : highschool dxd is unhealthy
wheelo : *does an irish jig*
flaem : check urself before u cut urself
flame : your cah game sucks
sub : stop winning
dani : holy frick
murphy : *lip smack* noice
meme : bean
alisa : uh-lee-suh
cold : grow a pear
peep : pull your pants up
kay : i just realized your kik avatar was yuno at one point
wembley : stop killing sans
yank : bernie 2k16
devin : gr8 m8 i r8 8/8
aquae : cool story bro
rokcs : offensive
soph : baa
sheep : baa
possum : dont deny it
suki : ur art is gr8 keep it up my mate
posy : stop dying pls
dmt : lollyturtle ftw until blaziken got nerfed
n1ght : live
help : help
vic : #bringrexback2k16
nugget : i hope youre having a day
edwin : lolololololololololol
ryan : end
chip : ur a chill d00d
slip : slippy boi
ace : so painful
A (one of the few people that matter lol) : stop replacing my ghost with other children they can get their own 
percy : you posted porn on chat y “i was testing a cmd”
waiting for love
ok so like this is the end of the notes
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? – Barry? – Adam? – Oan you believe this is happening? – I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. – You got lint on your fuzz. – Ow! That’s me! – Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. – Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! – Hey, Adam. – Hey, Barry. – Is that fuzz gel? – A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. – Hi, Barry. – Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. – Hear about Frankie? – Yeah. – You going to the funeral? – No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. – Well, Adam, today we are men. – We are! – Bee-men. – Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. – Wonder what it’ll be like? – A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! – That girl was hot. – She’s my cousin! – She is? – Yes, we’re all cousins. – Right. You’re right. – At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. – What do you think he makes? – Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. – What does that do? – Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. – Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! – Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. – Hey, Jocks! – Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! – I wonder where they were. – I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. – Oouple of Hive Harrys. – Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! – Oh, my! – I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. – Six miles, huh? – Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. – Maybe I am. – You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? – Well, there’s a lot of choices. – But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! – Barry, you are so funny sometimes. – I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! – You’re gonna be a stirrer? – No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. – We’re starting work today! – Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… – Is it still available? – Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. – What’d you get? – Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. – You want to go first? – No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. – Any chance of getting the Krelman? – Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? – I’m going out. – Out? Out where? – Out there. – Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. – Look at that. – Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. – Thank you. – OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! – That’s awful. – And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. – Antennae, check. – Nectar pack, check. – Wings, check. – Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! – Ever see pollination up close? – No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! – Guys! – This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. – Should we tell him? – I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! – Do something! – I’m driving! – Hi, bee. – He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. – Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? – Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. – You could put carob chips on there. – Bye. – Supposed to be less calories. – Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. – You’re talking. – Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. – I’m talking with a bee. – Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. – Wait! How did you learn to do that? – What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. – That’s very funny. – Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? – Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. – It’s just coffee. – I hate to impose. – Don’t be ridiculous! – Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? – I shouldn’t. – Have some. – No, I can’t. – Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. – Where? – These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. – You do? – Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. – Really? – My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. – Why do girls put rings on their toes? – Why not? – It’s like putting a hat on your knee. – Maybe I’ll try that. – You all right, ma’am? – Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. – Thanks! – Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. – Sounds amazing. – It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. – Do they try and kill you, like on TV? – Some of them. But some of them don’t. – How’d you get back? – Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. – Well… – Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? – A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! – No, no, no, not a wasp. – Spider? – I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. – Her name’s Vanessa. – Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? – They call it a crumb. – It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! – You know what a Oinnabon is? – No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! – Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! – Thinking bee. – Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! – We’re still here. – I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! – Then why yell at me? – Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. – Where are you going? – I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. – What is wrong with you?! – It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. – I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. – I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? – Is he that actor? – I never heard of him. – Why is this here? – For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? – Well, yes. – How do you get it? – Bees make it. – I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! – It’s organic. – It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. – You almost done? – Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. – And you? – He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! – What is that?! – Oh, no! – A wiper! Triple blade! – Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! – Bee! – Moose blood guy!! – You hear something? – Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. – Bees hang tight. – We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. – What if you get in trouble? – You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! – Hey, guys! – Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y’all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. – Oheck out the new smoker. – Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. – What? – Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. – You wish you could. – Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! – That would hurt. – No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. – Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. – And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard ’em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. – Is that that same bee? – Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. – Hello. – Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go ’cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. – Frosting… – How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. – Oh, those just get me psychotic! – Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. – This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. – I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. – What’s the matter? – I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us ’cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? – No. – I couldn’t hear you. – No. – No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. – Where have I heard it before? – I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! – Order in this court! – You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! – Say it! – Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. – Ken! – Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. – What’s that? – Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! – You’re bluffing. – Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. – You got the tweezers? – Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. – Good friends? – Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? – Yeah, but… – So those aren’t your real parents! – Oh, Barry… – Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y’all date your cousins? – Objection! – I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! – Adam, stay with me. – I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. – Hey, buddy. – Hey. – Is there much pain? – Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? – Why? – The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? – What are we gonna do? – He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. – What if Montgomery’s right? – What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! – I think we need to shut down! – Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? – Are they out celebrating? – They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? – What did you want to show me? – This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? – I’ll sting you, you step on me. – Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? – Roses are flowers! – Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. – Bees. – Park. – Pollen! – Flowers. – Repollination! – Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. – Where should I sit? – What are you? – I believe I’m the pea. – The pea? It goes under the mattresses. – Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. – I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. – You and your insect pack your float? – Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? – Remove your stinger. – It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. – What’d you say, Hal? – Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? – Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! – Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! – Is that another bee joke? – No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. – Who’s that? – Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. – Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? – Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” – Get this on the air! – Got it. – Stand by. – We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. – Black and yellow! – Hello! Left, right, down, hover. – Hover? – Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. – That may have been helping me. – And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – You snap out of it! – Hold it! – Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. – Black and yellow. – Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. – Thinking bee. – Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. – What? – I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! – What in the world is on the tarmac? – Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! – Vanessa, aim for the flower. – OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! – Not that flower! The other one! – Which one? – That flower. – I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. – This is insane, Barry! – This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! – Yes. No high-five! – Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! – Thank you. – But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. – When will this nightmare end?! – Let it all go. – Beautiful day to fly. – Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. – Thinking bee! – Me?
- Applejack: Boy howdy! I got my work cut out for me. That there is the biggest bumper crop o’ apples I ever laid eyes on.
- Big McIntosh: Eeyup. Too big for you to handle on your own.
- Applejack: Come on, big brother! You need to rest up and get yourself better. I haven’t met an apple orchard yet that I can’t handle. Oops, sorry. I’ll take a bite out of this job by day’s end.
- Big McIntosh: Biting off more than you can chew is just what I’m afraid of.
- Applejack: Are you sayin’ my mouth is makin’ promises my legs can’t keep?
- Big McIntosh: Eeyup.
- Applejack: Why of all the… This is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalest of friends and the most dependable of ponies?
- Big McIntosh: But still only one pony, and one pony plus hundreds o’ apple trees just doesn’t add up to…
- Applejack: Don’t you use your fancy mathematics to muddy the issue! I said I could handle this harvest and I’m gonna prove it to you. I’m gonna get every last apple out of those trees this applebuck season all by myself. [gulps]
- Applejack: Well I better get kickin’. These apples aren’t gonna shake themselves outta the trees. Hey! Ohno.
- Rainbow Dash: STAMPEDE!
- [cows mooing]
- [ponies panicking]
- Sweetie Drops: Stampede!
- [ponies panicking]
- Pinkie Pie: [laughter] Hey…! [vibrating] This makes my voice sound silly!
- Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie Pie, are you crazy?! Run!
- Mayor Mare: Everypony calm down. There is no need to panic.
- Rarity: But Mayor, whatever shall we do?
- Rainbow Dash: Look there!
- Applejack: YEEHAW!
- [ponies cheer]
- Applejack: Move aside, Winona. Put ’em up, girl!
- Winona: [barking]
- Rarity: [moan]
- Pinkie Pie: This is the best rodeo show I’ve ever seen. [eats popcorn]
- Applejack: Come on, little dogies! Turn! [whistle] Winona, put ’em up! Ha hah! Gotcha. [grunt]
- Winona: [bark]
- Applejack: Attagirl. [grunts] Yee haw!
- [ponies cheer]
- Applejack: Whoaaa. Hooie. Now what was that all about?
- Daisy Jo: [moo] [cough] Oh my! Begging your pardon, Applejack, but Mooriella here saw one of those nasty snakes.
- [cows startled]
- Daisy Jo: And it just gave us all the willies, don’tcha know.
- Applejack: I completely understand. Just next time, try and steer clear of Ponyville.
- Daisy Jo: We certainly will, Applejack. So long, Winona!
- [ponies cheer]
- [crowd: Applejack!]
- Applejack: Yee haw!
- Pinkie Pie: Yee haw! Ride ’em, cowpony!
- Mayor Mare: Applejack was just… just…
- Pinkie Pie: Appletastic!
- Mayor Mare: Exactly. We must do something to thank Applejack for single-hoofedly saving the town.
- Pinkie Pie: I know.
- Pinkie Pie: A party!
- Twilight Sparkle: We all ready?
- Rarity: Just one last thing. Now we’re ready.
- Twilight Sparkle: Is Applejack all set?
- Rainbow Dash: Actually, I haven’t seen her all week.
- Pinkie Pie: Not since the stampede.
- Rainbow Dash: But she’ll be here for sure. Applejack is never late.
- Twilight Sparkle: Welcome, everypony! Today we are here to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great and small. A pony whose contributions to–
- Rainbow Dash: Did you see Applejack’s slick moves out there? What an athlete. This week she’s gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it’s gonna be so awesome.
- Twilight Sparkle: Exactly. And…
- Pinkie Pie: This week, I get to run Sugarcube Corner for the first time.
- Twilight Sparkle: What does that have to do with Applejack?
- Pinkie Pie: Oh. Applejack, one of the best bakers ever, is gonna help me. Applejack makes everything great, so free samples for everypony!
- [ponies cheering]
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh-kay, that’s great. Now if I could just make a point without being inter–
- Fluttershy: Twilight?
- Twilight Sparkle: —rupted.
- Fluttershy: Twilight, I’m so sorry, but I just wanted to mention that Applejack is also helping me this week with the official bunny census, where we count up all the new baby bunnies that were born this season. She’s gonna help gather them using her wonderful herding skills.
- Twilight Sparkle: Anyone else? Anyone? No? Well then, as I was trying to say… Urgh! Never mind.
- Mayor Mare: Ah-ahem. And so, with no further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize, Pony of Ponyville Award, to our beloved guest of honor, a pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity. Ponyville’s most capable and dependable friend: Applejack!
- [crowd cheer]
- Spike: Cool! Way to go Applejack, that was awesome! I mean– heh.
- Mayor Mare: Ah-ahem.
- Spike: Awkward.
- Applejack: I’m here. I’m here. [yawn] [sigh] Sorry I’m late–whoa–I was just… whoa… Did I get your tail? Miss Mayor. Thank you kindly for this here… award thingy. [yawn] It’s so bright and shiny and, heh, heh heh, I sure do look funny heh. Ooo-ooo.
- Pinkie Pie: Woo-ooo.
- Applejack: Ooo-ooo.
- Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Well, thank you Applejack for saving us from that scary stampede, and always being there for everypony.
- Applejack: [yawn] Yeah. I like helping the ponyfolks and [yawn] and stuff. [snore] Oh, uh, yeah. Uh, Thanks.
- [sounds of dragging metal]
- Twilight Sparkle: Was it just me, or did Applejack seem a little–
- Rainbow Dash: Tired?
- Fluttershy: Dizzy?
- Rarity: Messy? Well, did you see her mane?
- Pinkie Pie: She seemed fine to me. Woo! Woo!
- Twilight Sparkle: Hmm.
- Applejack: [grunts] [sigh] Phew. [gasp] O-oah.
- Twilight Sparkle: What on Earth is that pony doing?
- Applejack: Whoops.
- Twilight Sparkle: Hey Applejack!
- Applejack: [snore]
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack.
- Applejack: [snore]
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack. AppleJACK!
- Applejack: Oh, howdy, Twilight.
- Twilight Sparkle: What is all this?
- Applejack: It’s Applebuck season. Whoa.
- Twilight Sparkle: Applewhat season?
- Applejack: Neh, It’s what the Apple family calls harvestin’ time. We gather all the apples from the trees so we can sell ’em.
- Twilight Sparkle: But why are you doing it all alone?
- Applejack: ’cause Big McIntosh hurt himself.
- Twilight Sparkle: What about all those relatives I’ve met when I first came to Ponyville? Can’t they help?
- Applejack: [sigh] They were just here for the Apple family reunion. They actually live all over Equestria and are busy harvestin’ their own orchards. So, uh, I’m on my own. Which means, I should really get back to work. Ahem… hint hint? Get back to work?
- Twilight Sparkle: Fine.
- Applejack: Could you step aside, Twilight?
- Twilight Sparkle: I just did. Applejack, you don’t look so good.
- Applejack: Eh, don’t any of you three worry none, I’m just fine and dandy. Whoa.
- Twilight Sparkle: Do you… want some help?
- Applejack: Help? No way, no how.
- Twilight Sparkle: But there’s no way you can do it all on your own.
- Applejack: Is that a challenge?
- Twilight Sparkle: Uhm… no?
- Applejack: Well, I’m gonna prove to you that I can do it! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got apples to buck.
- Rainbow Dash: There you are.
- Applejack: [yawn] I’m a mite sorry, Rainbow. I was busy applebuckin’ and I guess ah, I closed my eyes for a second and, when I woke up, I was late. Now, what’s this new trick a’ yours?
- Rainbow Dash: See this contraption?
- Applejack: Uh… Yeah.
- Rainbow Dash: Well, I’m gonna stand on one end, then you’re gonna jump down from that platform, launching me into the air faster than I can take off on my own. Once I’m in the air, I’m gonna do someamazing flips and spins that are sure to impress the Wonderbolts.
- Applejack: Isn’t that a mite dangerous?
- Rainbow Dash: Pfft, Heh, not for a pony who can fly.
- Applejack: Well, all right-y then. Oh my.
- Rainbow Dash: Ready? One… two… THREE!
- Applejack: [crash]
- Rainbow Dash: Umm… maybe I wasn’t clear. You’re supposed to land on the other end.
- Applejack: Got it. [grunt] [grunt] [grunt]
- Rainbow Dash: Applejack, what the hay is going on? I mean, I thought I was working with Ponyville’s best athlete!
- Applejack: You are. I’m okay. Really. I-I have an idea. Watch this. [groan] Ta da! Oh… Maybe not. Okay, one more try. I’m sure to get it this time.
- Rainbow Dash: Ugh!
- Applejack: Heh heh… Here I go!
- Rainbow Dash: Wait, Applejaaaaack!
- Applejack: You’re welcome!
- Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
- Twilight Sparkle: Can I help you?
- Rainbow Dash: I think somepony else needs your help.
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack?
- Rainbow Dash: Yep.
- Applejack: Ow!
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, can we talk? Applejack, can we talk?
- Applejack: Can bees squawk?! I don’t think so.
- Twilight Sparkle: No. Can we talk?
- Applejack: Twenty stalks? Bean or celery?
- Twilight Sparkle: No! I need to talk to you.
- Applejack: You need to walk to the zoo? Well, who’s stoppin’ you?
- Twilight Sparkle: I need to talk to you!
- Applejack: Oh! Well why didn’t you say so? What you wanna talk about?
- Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash dropped in to see me today.
- Applejack: That’s quite neighborly of her.
- Twilight Sparkle: Yes, except that she crashed onto my balcony after you launched her into the air.
- Applejack: Oh, yeah. I wasn’t feeling quite myself this morning.
- Twilight Sparkle: Because you’re working too hard and you need help.
- Applejack: What? Kelp? I don’t need kelp. I don’t even like seaweed.
- Twilight Sparkle: HELP! You need HELP!
- Applejack: Nothin’ doin’, Twilight. I’m gonna prove to you, t’everypony, that I can do this on my own. Ow! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go help Pinkie Pie.
- Twilight Sparkle: Ugh.
- Mrs. Cake: Now Pinkie Pie, are you sure you’re up for baking the muffins and running the store this afternoon?
- Pinkie Pie: Yes siree bob, Mrs. Cake. Plus, I have Ponyville’s prized pony to help me out. Why, she’s the best baker ever. Right, Applejack?
- Mr. Cake: No? You’re not the best baker ever?
- Applejack: WHAT? Oh no! I mean, don’t you fret. I can bake anything from fritters to pies in the blink of an eye.
- Mrs. Cake: [sigh] All right. Well, see you later, girls!
- Pinkie Pie: Stop with the shakin’, it’s time to get bakin’.
- Pinkie Pie: All right-y! I’ll get the sugar and the eggs. Can you get me some chocolate chips?
- Applejack: Eh, uh, whu, what was that?
- Pinkie Pie: Chocolate chips.
- Applejack: Chips… got it. Tater chips, a little salty and dry, okie-dokie. What next?
- Pinkie Pie: Baking soda.
- Applejack: Soda. Perfect. That’ll get the tater chips nice and wet. Now what?
- Pinkie Pie: A cup of flour.
- Applejack: A cup o’ sour? Well, lemons are sure sour. One cup o’ sour, comin’ up. Anything else, Pinkie?
- Pinkie Pie: One last thing. Wheat germ.
- Applejack: Wheat worms? Oh, that must be fancy talk for earthworms.
- Pinkie Pie: Now that’s gonna be delicious.
- Applejack: If you say so.
- Pinkie Pie: Free muffin sample spectacular!
- [ponies: mmm, muffins]
- Applejack: Yeah! Muffin spectacles! Get ’em while they’re hot.
- Twilight Sparkle: We came as soon as we heard.
- Nurse Redheart: Oh thank you, Twilight. We need all the help we can get.
- [ponies moaning]
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh no! What happened?
- Spike: [sniff]
- Nurse Redheart: It was a mishap with some of the baked goods.
- Pinkie Pie: No, not baked goods, baked bads. [groans]
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack.
- Spike: [chomp] Want one?
- Applejack: [grunt] [snore] What? Huh? [grunt] [snore]
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, we need to talk.
- Applejack: Wha, huh? Oh, it’s you, Twilight. [yawn] I know what you’re gonna say, but the answer is still no.
- Twilight Sparkle: Not to upset your applecart, but you need help.
- Applejack: Hardy har. [groan] And no I don’t.
- Twilight Sparkle: Here, let me help.
- Applejack: Help? No thanks. [groan] A little more… [groan] Little… [grunt] There. I’ll prove that this apple can handle these apples. Come on [grunt] apples [grunt] fall off [grunt].
- Twilight Sparkle: AJ, think you’re beating a dead… tree.
- Applejack: I knew that.
- Twilight Sparkle: Actually, Applejack, I had something else to talk to you about. I just came back from Ponyville Urgent Care and–
- Applejack: You know, I’m a little busy to get lectured right now, Twilight.
- Twilight Sparkle: But if you’d just let me help–
- Applejack: Ugh. No, no, NO! How many times do I gotta say it? I don’t need no help from nopony!
- Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. That pony is stubborn as a mule.
- [mule neighing]
- Twilight Sparkle: No offense.
- Mule: None taken.
- Fluttershy: Oh Applejack! Thank you so much for offering your herding skills for the annual rabbit roundup.
- Applejack: Ugh. Why are we doin’ this?
- Fluttershy: Well, lots of new baby bunnies have been born, so it’s my job to get a count of all the new families.
- Applejack: Fine. Can we just get on with it?
- Fluttershy: Certainly, but remember, these are bunnies we’re dealing with, not cows. They’re a timid bunch and need to be treated gently.
- Applejack: I do NOT need any direction on corrallin’ critters. Right, Winona?
- Winona: [barks]
- Fluttershy: Okay, little bunnies! I need you to all gather here in the middle.
- Applejack: That’s right! Let’s go, bunnies. In the center. Hop to it. Swell. Just swell. Put ’em up, Winona!
- Winona:[barks]
- Fluttershy: Applejack! Winona! Stop! You’re scaring them.
- Applejack: We know what we’re doin’. Get along, little bunnies.
- Winona: [barks] [growls]
- Fluttershy: Oh no.
- Rainbow Dash: STAMPEDE!
- Daisy: [yelps] Stampede!
- [ponies scream]
- [rabbits running]
- Lily Valley: [sigh]
- Twilight Sparkle: [humming] [gasp]
- Rose: The horror, the horror.
- Lily Valley: It was awful.
- Daisy: A disaster. A horrible, horrible disaster.
- Twilight Sparkle: I don’t get it.
- Lily Valley: Our gardens, destroyed.
- Rose: Every last flower, devoured.
- Daisy: By… by… THEM!
- Fluttershy: Oh my. Oh… Please stop, little bunnies. Oh no! Please, let’s go home. Oh my goodness.
- Twilight Sparkle: All right. Enough is enough.
- Applejack: Must [gasp] keep [gasp] buckin’… just [gasp] a few [gasp] more. Must finish harvestin’.
- Twilight Sparkle: All right, Applejack. Your applebucking hasn’t just caused you problems, it’s over-propelled Pegasus’, practically poisoned plenty of ponies, and terrorized bushels of brand new bouncing baby bunnies. I don’t care what you say, you. Need. Help.
- Applejack: [grunts] Ha! No, I don’t. Look, I did it. I harvested the entire Sweet Apple Acres without your help. How d’ya like them apples?
- Big McIntosh: Um, how do you like them apples?
- Applejack: [mumbling] Where’d all the apple…? [mumbling] [sighs]
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack. Applejack.
- Applejack: Huh?
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh, good, you’re okay. Now Applejack, I completely respect the Apple family ways. You’re always there to help anypony in need, so maybe you can put a little of your stubborn pride aside and allow your friends to help you.
- Applejack: Okay, Twilight.
- Twilight Sparkle: I am not taking “no” for an answer–what?
- Applejack: Yes, Twilight. Yes, please. I could really use your help.
- Twilight Sparkle: [chuckles] [sigh]
- Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia,
- My friend Applejack is the best friend a pony could ever have, and she’s always there to help anypony. The only trouble is, when she needs help, she finds it hard to accept it, so while friendship is about giving of ourselves to friends, it’s also about accepting what our friends have to offer.
- Your faithful student,
- Twilight Sparkle
- Applejack: How about y’all take a little break? I got some fine apple juice waitin’ for ya! [sigh] Girls, I can’t thank you enough for this help. I was acting a bit stubborn.
- Twilight Sparkle: A bit?
- Applejack: Okay. A mite stubborn, and I’m awful sorry. Now, I know the town gave me the Prized Pony award, but the real award is having you five as my friends.
- Rainbow Dash: Phew! That applebucking sure made me hungry.
- Spike: And I’ve got the perfect treat.
- Pinkie Pie: Eeew… Spike, I threw those all away. Where’d you get them?
- Spike: From the trash.
- Ponies: [in unison] EW!
- Spike: Just a little nibble? Come on.
- Ponies: Ew! Gross!
- [music]
- [credits]
- Spike: No. Nope. Nope– [continues in background]
- Applejack: Thank you kindly, Twilight, for helping me out. I bet Big McIntosh I could get all these Golden Delicious in the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he’s gonna walk down Stirrup Street in one of Granny’s girdles. [chuckles]
- Twilight Sparkle: No problem at all, Applejack. I’m glad the goal is lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry.
- Spike: I know, right?
- Twilight Sparkle: Ooh-wee, Spike. You’ve been lounging on my back all morning while we worked.
- Spike: Exactly. You two are taking so long, I missed snack-time.
- Twilight Sparkle: [stomach grumbles] [laughs nervously] Eh, I guess we better get some food.
- Spike: Nope. Worm. A-ha!
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh Spike, that looks delicious.
- Spike: [munching]
- Twilight Sparkle: Spike.
- Spike: What? [burp]
- Twilight Sparkle: It’s a letter from Princess Celestia.
- Spike: [clears throat] Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest.
- Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] The Grand Galloping Gala!
- Applejack and Twilight Sparkle: The Grand Galloping Gala! [cheering]
- Applejack: Woo-hoo!
- Spike: [burp] Look, two tickets.
- Twilight Sparkle: Wow, great! I’ve never been to the gala. Have you, Spike?
- Spike: No, and I plan to keep it that way. I don’t want any of that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense.
- Twilight Sparkle: Aw, come on Spike. A dance would be nice.
- Applejack: Nice? It’s a heap good more than just nice. I’d love to go. Land sakes, if I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin’ our tasty vittles ’til the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin’ up ’round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big McIntosh could replace that saggy old plow, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip.
- Applejack: Why, I’d give my left hind leg to go to that gala.
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well in that case, would you like to–
- Rainbow Dash: Whoa! [crash] Ugh. Are we talking about the Grand Galloping Gala?
- Applejack: Rainbow Dash. You told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples. What were you busy doing? Spyin’?
- Rainbow Dash: No, I was busy napping, and I just happened to hear that you have an extra ticket?
- Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, but–
- Rainbow Dash: YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at the Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now. Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on the Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash!
- [audience gasps]
- Rainbow Dash: I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut.
- [audience cheers]
- Rainbow Dash: Then, I would mesmerize ’em with my Fantastic Filly Flash. And for my grand finale, the Buccaneer Blaze! The ponies would go wild!
- [ponies go wild]
- Rainbow Dash: The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine, and then welcome me as their newest member.
- Rainbow Dash: Don’t you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show ’em my stuff. You gotta take me! [grunt]
- Applejack: Hold on just one pony pickin’ minute here. [spit] I asked for that ticket first.
- Rainbow Dash: So? That doesn’t mean you own it.
- Applejack: Oh, yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrestle. Winner gets the ticket.
- Applejack and Rainbow Dash: [groan]
- Twilight Sparkle: Girls, these are my tickets, I’ll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don’t you think?
- Applejack: Drummin’ up business for the farm?
- Rainbow Dash: A chance to audition for the Wonderbolts?
- Applejack: Money t’ fix Granny’s hip.
- Rainbow Dash: Living the dream.
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, those were all pretty good reasons, aren’t they? [stomach rumbles] [chuckles] Listen to that, I am starving. I don’t know about you, but I can’t make important decisions on an empty stomach, so I’ll, uh, think about it over lunch and get back to you two, okay?
- Applejack and Rainbow Dash: Okay. [groan]
- Spike: So, who you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?
- Twilight Sparkle: I don’t know Spike, but I really can’t think straight when I’m hungry, so where should we eat?
- Pinkie Pie: [crash] Gah! Bats! Bats on my face! Help! Wait, these aren’t… tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?! It’s the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I’ve always always always wanted to go!
- [Pinkie Pie]
- Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
- Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
- Hip hip
- Hooray!
- It’s the best place for me
- For Pinkie…
- Pinkie Pie: With decorations like streamers and fairy-lights and pinwheels and piñatas and pin-cushions. With goodies like sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla. And I get to play my favorite-est of favorite fantabulous games like Pin the Tail on the Pony!
- [Pinkie Pie]
- Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
- Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me
- ‘Cause it’s the most galarrific superly-terrific gala ever
- In the whole galaxy
- Wheee!!
- Pinkie Pie: Oh thank you, Twilight, it’s the most wonderful-est gift ever.
- Twilight Sparkle: Um, actually–
- Rarity: [gasp] Are these what I think they are?
- Twilight Sparkle: Uh–
- Pinkie Pie: Yes, yes, yes! Twilight’s taking me to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot.
- Rarity: The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I’ve never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It’s where I truly belong, and where I’m destined to meet him.
- Pinkie Pie: Him! … Who?
- Rarity: Him. I would stroll through the gala, and everyone would wonder, “Who is that mysterious mare?” They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would bemagnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, “Yes!” We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is [giggles] what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams.
- Rarity: Twilight, I simply cannot believe you would invite Pinkie Pie so she can… party, and prevent me from meeting my true love. How could you? Hmph.
- Spike: Hey!
- Fluttershy: [gasp] Angel, these are perfect.
- Twilight Sparkle: Uh, listen guys, I haven’t decided who to give the extra ticket to.
- Rarity and Pinkie Pie: You haven’t?
- Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Twilight. I would just like to ask, I mean, if it would be all right, if you haven’t given it to someone else–
- Rarity: You? You want to go to the gala?
- Fluttershy: Oh, no. I mean, yes, or, actually, kind of. You see, it’s not so much the Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most beautiful and fragrant in all of Equestria. For the night of the gala, and that night alone, would they all be in bloom… and that’s just the flora! Don’t get me started on the fauna. There’s loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz. White-blue jays, and red jays, and green jays, pink jays and pink flamingos!
- Twilight Sparkle: Gee, Fluttershy, it sounds… beautiful…?
- Rainbow Dash: Wait just a minute.
- Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash! Were you following me?
- Rainbow Dash: No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe. Look, it doesn’t matter. I couldn’t risk a goody-four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody.
- Applejack: Wait just another minute.
- Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, were you following me too?
- Applejack: No. I was followin’ this one to make sure she didn’t try any funny business. Still trying to take mah ticket.
- Rainbow Dash: Your ticket?
- Pinkie Pie: But Twilight’s taking me.
- [ponies argue]
- [ponies argue]
- Twilight Sparkle: QUIET!
- Pinkie Pie: And then I said, “Oatmeal, are you craz–” oh.
- Twilight Sparkle: Girls, there’s no use in arguing.
- Rarity: But Twilight-
- Twilight Sparkle: Eh! This is my decision, and I’m gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can’t think straight with all this noise… [stomach rumbles] not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo.
- [ponies grumble]
- Twilight Sparkle: And don’t worry, I’ll figure this out… somehow.
- Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] Spike, what am I gonna do? All five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala. Applejack, or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy, Rarity… Oh, who should go with me? [stomach rumbles]
- Savoir Fare: Have you made your decision?
- Twilight Sparkle: I CAN’T DECIDE!
- Spike: Twilight, he just wants to take your order.
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh. I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich.
- Spike: Do you have any rubies? No? Okay. I’ll have the hay fries, extra crispy.
- Twilight Sparkle: What do you think, Spike?
- Spike: I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?
- Twilight Sparkle: I mean about the Gala and the ticket and who I should take.
- Spike: Oh. You’re still on that?
- Twilight Sparkle: Spike, listen. How do I choose? And when I do choose, will the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies. What if I–
- Savoir Fare: Ah, your food.
- Twilight Sparkle: Oh thank you. This looks so good. I’m sure everything will be much clearer once I eat.
- [ponies galloping]
- Savoir Fare: Em, madam? Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?
- Twilight Sparkle: It’s not raining… What’s going on?
- Rainbow Dash: Hi there, best friend forever I’ve ever ever had. Enjoying the sunny weather?
- Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?
- Rainbow Dash: Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest, most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I’d kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine in peace, that’s all.
- Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, you’re not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing me extra special favors, are you?
- Rainbow Dash: Me? No no no, of course not.
- Twilight Sparkle: Uh-huh.
- Rainbow Dash: Seriously, I’d do it for anypony. Heh heh, eh.
- Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I’d appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now.
- Rainbow Dash: Ugh, fine. [zip]
- Twilight Sparkle: That’s better. [groans]
- Rarity: Twilight, it’s raining.
- Twilight Sparkle: No, really?
- Rarity: Come with me before you catch a cold.
- Twilight Sparkle: Heh heh, oops, sorry.
- Rarity: Oh no, it’s quite all right. After all, we are… the best of friends, are we not? And you know what the best of friends do?
- Twilight Sparkle: Uh…
- Rarity: Makeovers!
- Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, Rarity, ow, this really isn’t fixing it. I mean, thank you but, ooh, that’s too tight.
- Rarity: There. Oh, you’re simply darling.
- Twilight Sparkle: Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn’t it?
- Rarity: And you. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent.
- Spike: D-ah, ow, oh, hey, wow, watch it, whoa!
- Twilight Sparkle: [giggles] Oh, Spike.
- Rarity: Now you just need a hat.
- Spike: Ugh, I told you, I don’t want any part of this girly gala gunk. See you back at the library.
- Rarity: [laughs] Oh, who needs him anyway. This is all about you, and how fabulous you’ll look at the Grand Galloping Gala.
- Twilight Sparkle: Wait, the Grand—
- Rarity: [gasp] And oh, my goodness, what a coincidence. I happen to have an ensemble of my own that matches yours to a T. We would be the belles of the ball, you and I. Everyone would be clamoring for our attention. All eyes would be on us, and then everyone would finally know, the most beautiful, most talented, most sophisticated pony in all of Equestria is Rarity the unicorn. Ah, [nervous laughter] and Twilight Sparkle, of course.
- Twilight Sparkle: I see what’s going on. You’re just buttering me up so I give you the extra ticket. Well it’s not gonna work. You’re going to have to wait for my decision just like everyone else. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been trying all day just to get some lunch.
- Applejack: Did somepony say lunch?
- Twilight Sparkle: You’ve got to be kidding me!
- Applejack: I got apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple crisps, apple crumblers, and apple Brown Betty. Uh, the dessert, not my auntie. What do you say there, best friend?
- Twilight Sparkle: [stomach grumbles]
- Applejack: Is that a yes?
- Twilight Sparkle: No. No. I don’t know who I’m giving the ticket to, and all these favors aren’t making it any easier to decide. In fact, I’m less sure now than I was this morning. Ugh!
- Applejack: So, that’s a maybe?
- Twilight Sparkle: Ugh, I never thought being showered with favors would be so aggravating.
- Fluttershy: [humming]
- Twilight Sparkle: [gasp] Fluttershy, not you too?
- Fluttershy: Oh, well, hello Twilight. I hope you don’t mind, but we’re all doing a little spring cleaning for you.
- Twilight Sparkle: It’s summer.
- Fluttershy: Oh, well, better late than never, right? It was Angel’s idea.
- Twilight Sparkle: You’re not doing this for the ticket, are you?
- Fluttershy: Oh no, I’m doing this because you’re my very best friend. Right, Angel? Oh, yes, we are just doing this for the ticket.
- Twilight Sparkle: No, no, no! Well, this was all very nice of you and Angel, but I’m not accepting any extra favors until I’ve made my final decision, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
- Ponies: SURPRISE!
- [trumpets blow]
- [Pinkie Pie]
- Twilight is my bestest friend
- Whoopie, whoopie!
- Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie…
- [Pinkie Pie]
- She’s the cutest, smartest, all around best pony, pony!
- Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie.
- [Pinkie Pie]
- I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party, party!
- Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!
- [Pinkie Pie]
- She’ll give her extra ticket to the Gala to me!
- Twilight Sparkle: PIIINKIIIE!!
- Pinkie Pie: Yes, Twilight?
- Twilight Sparkle: At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket.
- Drizzle: Wait, what ticket? What gala?
- Pinkie Pie: Oh, you didn’t know? Twilight has an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!
- Ponies, in unison: The Grand Galloping Gala?!
- [offscreen: Have I ever told you how much I love your mane?]
- [offscreen: I’ll wash your dishes.]
- Daisy: Would you like any help with your gardening?
- Shoeshine: I have a cartload of extra carrots.
- [offscreen: I’ll paint your cart.]
- [ponies offer favors]
- Spike: What are we gonna do?
- Twilight Sparkle: We’re… gonna… run!
- [Benny Hill-esque music]
- [ponies offer favors]
- [offscreen: I’ll do your taxes!]
- [offscreen: Where is she? Where did she go? She’s disappeared.]
- Spike: Ugh… Warn me next time you’re gonna do that.
- Twilight Sparkle: I didn’t even know it was gonna happen. Now quick, lock the doors. Yaaaargh! I can’t decide, I just can’t decide. It’s important to all of you and I just can’t stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won’t make any difference, because you’re all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can’t, I just can’t!
- Applejack: Twilight, sugar, I didn’t mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, I don’t want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. I won’t feel bad, I promise.
- Fluttershy: Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful.
- Pinkie Pie: And me too. It’s no fun upsetting your friends.
- Rarity: Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did.
- Rainbow Dash: Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha, [sing-song voice] I got the ticket, I got the ticket– you know, I haven’t perfected my signature moves for the Wonderbolts anyway. I don’t need that ticket either.
- Applejack: We all got so gun-ho about going to the gala that we couldn’t see how un-gun-ho we were making you.
- Ponies in unison: We’re sorry, Twilight.
- Twilight Sparkle: Spike, take down a note. Dear Princess Celestia,
- I’ve learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there’s not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala.
- Ponies in unison: What?!
- Twilight Sparkle: If my friends can’t all go, I don’t wanna go either.
- Applejack: Twilight, you don’t have to do that.
- Twilight Sparkle: Nope. I’ve made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now.
- Spike: [gasp]
- Fluttershy: Now you won’t get to go to the gala either.
- Twilight Sparkle: It’s okay, girls. I couldn’t possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me, so I would rather not go at all.
- Spike: Hgh… hgh… urk… urk…
- Applejack: Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn’t that just like a boy? Can’t handle the least bit of sentiment.
- Spike: [burp]
- Applejack: Whoa Nelly!
- Twilight Sparkle: A letter from the princess? That was fast.
- Spike: “My faithful student Twilight,
- Why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” Six tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala.
- [ponies gasp]
- Twilight Sparkle: Now we can all go.
- [ponies cheer]
- Twilight Sparkle: [stomach rumbles] [laughs nervously]
- Rarity: Allow us to treat you to dinner.
- Rainbow Dash: What a great way to apologize.
- Pinkie Pie: And to celebrate. Come on everyone, the cupcakes are on me.
- Spike: How come I don’t get a ticket to the gala? Hurk! [burp] “And one for you, Spike.” [giggles] I mean,gross, I have to go too? [continues giggling]
- Applejack: [chuckles]
- [music]
- [credits]
Lolly’s theory over The relations of “The bee movie” and our Republican candidate for Mr. United states, Donald J. Trump.
Hello, my name is Lolly, and today ‘m going to make a theory about the relations of “The Bee Movie” and Mr J. Trump.
Think about this. Bees have black stripes on their bodies, and Donald Trump is triggered by black people.
Coincidence? I think not my friend.
Bee movie. Bee. The word bee has three letters. The iIlluminati triangle has 3 sides and 3 angles. But we must go deeper.
Donald trump hates who? Immigrants. The word Immigrants has 10 letters. The word Illuminati has 10 letters. Coincidence? Nope.
We must go even deeper.
Donald Trump hates the Country China. China has 5 letters. Donald Trump has 2 million dollar bills in his pocket right now. 5-2=3. There are 3 sides and 3 angles on the Illuminati triangle.
i cant go any deeper guys all this proof shows that the bee movie & trump = illuminati
Friends, delegates and fellow Americans: I humbly and gratefully accept your nomination for the presidency of the United States.
Story Continued Below
Together, we will lead our party back to the White House, and we will lead our country back to safety, prosperity, and peace. We will be a country of generosity and warmth. But we will also be a country of law and order.
Our Convention occurs at a moment of crisis for our nation. The attacks on our police, and the terrorism in our cities, threaten our very way of life. Any politician who does not grasp this danger is not fit to lead our country.
Americans watching this address tonight have seen the recent images of violence in our streets and the chaos in our communities. Many have witnessed this violence personally, some have even been its victims.
I have a message for all of you: the crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon come to an end. Beginning on January 20th 2017, safety will be restored.
The most basic duty of government is to defend the lives of its own citizens. Any government that fails to do so is a government unworthy to lead.
It is finally time for a straightforward assessment of the state of our nation.
I will present the facts plainly and honestly. We cannot afford to be so politically correct anymore.
So if you want to hear the corporate spin, the carefully-crafted lies, and the media myths the Democrats are holding their convention next week.
But here, at our convention, there will be no lies. We will honor the American people with the truth, and nothing else.
160721-Donald-Trump-GettyImages-578329004.jpg
Trump speech draft leaks hours in advance
By NICK GASS
These are the facts:
Decades of progress made in bringing down crime are now being reversed by this Administration’s rollback of criminal enforcement.
Homicides last year increased by 17% in America’s fifty largest cities. That’s the largest increase in 25 years. In our nation’s capital, killings have risen by 50 percent. They are up nearly 60% in nearby Baltimore.
In the President’s hometown of Chicago, more than 2,000 have been the victims of shootings this year alone. And more than 3,600 have been killed in the Chicago area since he took office.
The number of police officers killed in the line of duty has risen by almost 50% compared to this point last year. Nearly 180,000 illegal immigrants with criminal records, ordered deported from our country, are tonight roaming free to threaten peaceful citizens.
The number of new illegal immigrant families who have crossed the border so far this year already exceeds the entire total from 2015. They are being released by the tens of thousands into our communities with no regard for the impact on public safety or resources.
One such border-crosser was released and made his way to Nebraska. There, he ended the life of an innocent young girl named Sarah Root. She was 21 years-old, and was killed the day after graduating from college with a 4.0 Grade Point Average. Her killer was then released a second time, and he is now a fugitive from the law.
I’ve met Sarah’s beautiful family. But to this Administration, their amazing daughter was just one more American life that wasn’t worth protecting. One more child to sacrifice on the altar of open borders. What about our economy?
Again, I will tell you the plain facts that have been edited out of your nightly news and your morning newspaper: Nearly Four in 10 African-American children are living in poverty, while 58% of African American youth are not employed. 2 million more Latinos are in poverty today than when the President took his oath of office less than eight years ago. Another 14 million people have left the workforce entirely.
Household incomes are down more than $4,000 since the year 2000. Our manufacturing trade deficit has reached an all-time high – nearly $800 billion in a single year. The budget is no better.
President Obama has doubled our national debt to more than $19 trillion, and growing. Yet, what do we have to show for it? Our roads and bridges are falling apart, our airports are in Third World condition, and forty-three million Americans are on food stamps.
Now let us consider the state of affairs abroad.
Not only have our citizens endured domestic disaster, but they have lived through one international humiliation after another. We all remember the images of our sailors being forced to their knees by their Iranian captors at gunpoint.
This was just prior to the signing of the Iran deal, which gave back to Iran $150 billion and gave us nothing – it will go down in history as one of the worst deals ever made. Another humiliation came when president Obama drew a red line in Syria – and the whole world knew it meant nothing.
In Libya, our consulate – the symbol of American prestige around the globe – was brought down in flames. America is far less safe – and the world is far less stable – than when Obama made the decision to put Hillary Clinton in charge of America’s foreign policy.
I am certain it is a decision he truly regrets. Her bad instincts and her bad judgment – something pointed out by Bernie Sanders – are what caused the disasters unfolding today. Let’s review the record. In 2009, pre-Hillary, ISIS was not even on the map.
Libya was cooperating. Egypt was peaceful. Iraq was seeing a reduction in violence. Iran was being choked by sanctions. Syria was under control. After four years of Hillary Clinton, what do we have? ISIS has spread across the region, and the world. Libya is in ruins, and our Ambassador and his staff were left helpless to die at the hands of savage killers. Egypt was turned over to the radical Muslim brotherhood, forcing the military to retake control. Iraq is in chaos.
Iran is on the path to nuclear weapons. Syria is engulfed in a civil war and a refugee crisis that now threatens the West. After fifteen years of wars in the Middle East, after trillions of dollars spent and thousands of lives lost, the situation is worse than it has ever been before.
This is the legacy of Hillary Clinton: death, destruction and weakness.
But Hillary Clinton’s legacy does not have to be America’s legacy. The problems we face now – poverty and violence at home, war and destruction abroad – will last only as long as we continue relying on the same politicians who created them. A change in leadership is required to change these outcomes. Tonight, I will share with you my plan of action for America.
The most important difference between our plan and that of our opponents, is that our plan will put America First. Americanism, not globalism, will be our credo. As long as we are led by politicians who will not put America First, then we can be assured that other nations will not treat America with respect. This will all change in 2017.
The American People will come first once again. My plan will begin with safety at home – which means safe neighborhoods, secure borders, and protection from terrorism. There can be no prosperity without law and order. On the economy, I will outline reforms to add millions of new jobs and trillions in new wealth that can be used to rebuild America.
A number of these reforms that I will outline tonight will be opposed by some of our nation’s most powerful special interests. That is because these interests have rigged our political and economic system for their exclusive benefit.
Big business, elite media and major donors are lining up behind the campaign of my opponent because they know she will keep our rigged system in place. They are throwing money at her because they have total control over everything she does. She is their puppet, and they pull the strings.
That is why Hillary Clinton’s message is that things will never change. My message is that things have to change – and they have to change right now. Every day I wake up determined to deliver for the people I have met all across this nation that have been neglected, ignored, and abandoned.
I have visited the laid-off factory workers, and the communities crushed by our horrible and unfair trade deals. These are the forgotten men and women of our country. People who work hard but no longer have a voice.
I AM YOUR VOICE.
I have embraced crying mothers who have lost their children because our politicians put their personal agendas before the national good. I have no patience for injustice, no tolerance for government incompetence, no sympathy for leaders who fail their citizens.
When innocent people suffer, because our political system lacks the will, or the courage, or the basic decency to enforce our laws – or worse still, has sold out to some corporate lobbyist for cash – I am not able to look the other way.
And when a Secretary of State illegally stores her emails on a private server, deletes 33,000 of them so the authorities can’t see her crime, puts our country at risk, lies about it in every different form and faces no consequence – I know that corruption has reached a level like never before.
When the FBI Director says that the Secretary of State was “extremely careless” and “negligent,” in handling our classified secrets, I also know that these terms are minor compared to what she actually did. They were just used to save her from facing justice for her terrible crimes.
In fact, her single greatest accomplishment may be committing such an egregious crime and getting away with it – especially when others have paid so dearly. When that same Secretary of State rakes in millions of dollars trading access and favors to special interests and foreign powers I know the time for action has come.
I have joined the political arena so that the powerful can no longer beat up on people that cannot defend themselves. Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it. I have seen firsthand how the system is rigged against our citizens, just like it was rigged against Bernie Sanders – he never had a chance.
But his supporters will join our movement, because we will fix his biggest issue: trade. Millions of Democrats will join our movement because we are going to fix the system so it works for all Americans. In this cause, I am proud to have at my side the next Vice President of the United States: Governor Mike Pence of Indiana.
We will bring the same economic success to America that Mike brought to Indiana. He is a man of character and accomplishment. He is the right man for the job. The first task for our new Administration will be to liberate our citizens from the crime and terrorism and lawlessness that threatens their communities.
America was shocked to its core when our police officers in Dallas were brutally executed. In the days after Dallas, we have seen continued threats and violence against our law enforcement officials. Law officers have been shot or killed in recent days in Georgia, Missouri, Wisconsin, Kansas, Michigan and Tennessee.
On Sunday, more police were gunned down in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Three were killed, and four were badly injured. An attack on law enforcement is an attack on all Americans. I have a message to every last person threatening the peace on our streets and the safety of our police: when I take the oath of office next year, I will restore law and order our country.
Donald Trump tests the teleprompters and microphones on stage at the start of the final day of the Republican National Convention.
Leaked document: Trump will tell the nation, ‘I am your voice’
By ELI STOKOLS and NICK GASS
I will work with, and appoint, the best prosecutors and law enforcement officials in the country to get the job done. In this race for the White House, I am the Law And Order candidate. The irresponsible rhetoric of our President, who has used the pulpit of the presidency to divide us by race and color, has made America a more dangerous environment for everyone.
This Administration has failed America’s inner cities. It’s failed them on education. It’s failed them on jobs. It’s failed them on crime. It’s failed them at every level.
When I am President, I will work to ensure that all of our kids are treated equally, and protected equally.
Every action I take, I will ask myself: does this make life better for young Americans in Baltimore, Chicago, Detroit, Ferguson who have as much of a right to live out their dreams as any other child America?
To make life safe in America, we must also address the growing threats we face from outside America: we are going to defeat the barbarians of ISIS. Once again, France is the victim of brutal Islamic terrorism.
Men, women and children viciously mowed down. Lives ruined. Families ripped apart. A nation in mourning.
The damage and devastation that can be inflicted by Islamic radicals has been over and over – at the World Trade Center, at an office party in San Bernardino, at the Boston Marathon, and a military recruiting center in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
Only weeks ago, in Orlando, Florida, 49 wonderful Americans were savagely murdered by an Islamic terrorist. This time, the terrorist targeted our LGBT community. As your President, I will do everything in my power to protect our LGBT citizens from the violence and oppression of a hateful foreign ideology. To protect us from terrorism, we need to focus on three things.
We must have the best intelligence gathering operation in the world. We must abandon the failed policy of nation building and regime change that Hillary Clinton pushed in Iraq, Libya, Egypt and Syria. Instead, we must work with all of our allies who share our goal of destroying ISIS and stamping out Islamic terror.
This includes working with our greatest ally in the region, the State of Israel. Lastly, we must immediately suspend immigration from any nation that has been compromised by terrorism until such time as proven vetting mechanisms have been put in place.
My opponent has called for a radical 550% increase in Syrian refugees on top of existing massive refugee flows coming into our country under President Obama. She proposes this despite the fact that there’s no way to screen these refugees in order to find out who they are or where they come from. I only want to admit individuals into our country who will support our values and love our people.
Anyone who endorses violence, hatred or oppression is not welcome in our country and never will be.
Decades of record immigration have produced lower wages and higher unemployment for our citizens, especially for African-American and Latino workers. We are going to have an immigration system that works, but one that works for the American people.
On Monday, we heard from three parents whose children were killed by illegal immigrants Mary Ann Mendoza, Sabine Durden, and Jamiel Shaw. They are just three brave representatives of many thousands. Of all my travels in this country, nothing has affected me more deeply than the time I have spent with the mothers and fathers who have lost their children to violence spilling across our border.
These families have no special interests to represent them. There are no demonstrators to protest on their behalf. My opponent will never meet with them, or share in their pain. Instead, my opponent wants Sanctuary Cities. But where was sanctuary for Kate Steinle? Where was Sanctuary for the children of Mary Ann, Sabine and Jamiel? Where was sanctuary for all the other Americans who have been so brutally murdered, and who have suffered so horribly?
These wounded American families have been alone. But they are alone no longer. Tonight, this candidate and this whole nation stand in their corner to support them, to send them our love, and to pledge in their honor that we will save countless more families from suffering the same awful fate.
We are going to build a great border wall to stop illegal immigration, to stop the gangs and the violence, and to stop the drugs from pouring into our communities. I have been honored to receive the endorsement of America’s Border Patrol Agents, and will work directly with them to protect the integrity of our lawful immigration system.
By ending catch-and-release on the border, we will stop the cycle of human smuggling and violence. Illegal border crossings will go down. Peace will be restored. By enforcing the rules for the millions who overstay their visas, our laws will finally receive the respect they deserve.
Tonight, I want every American whose demands for immigration security have been denied – and every politician who has denied them – to listen very closely to the words I am about to say.
On January 21st of 2017, the day after I take the oath of office, Americans will finally wake up in a country where the laws of the United States are enforced. We are going to be considerate and compassionate to everyone.
But my greatest compassion will be for our own struggling citizens. My plan is the exact opposite of the radical and dangerous immigration policy of Hillary Clinton. Americans want relief from uncontrolled immigration. Communities want relief.
Yet Hillary Clinton is proposing mass amnesty, mass immigration, and mass lawlessness. Her plan will overwhelm your schools and hospitals, further reduce your jobs and wages, and make it harder for recent immigrants to escape from poverty.
I have a different vision for our workers. It begins with a new, fair trade policy that protects our jobs and stands up to countries that cheat. It’s been a signature message of my campaign from day one, and it will be a signature feature of my presidency from the moment I take the oath of office.
I have made billions of dollars in business making deals – now I’m going to make our country rich again. I am going to turn our bad trade agreements into great ones. America has lost nearly-one third of its manufacturing jobs since 1997, following the enactment of disastrous trade deals supported by Bill and Hillary Clinton.
Remember, it was Bill Clinton who signed NAFTA, one of the worst economic deals ever made by our country.
Never again.
I am going to bring our jobs back to Ohio and to America – and I am not going to let companies move to other countries, firing their employees along the way, without consequences.
My opponent, on the other hand, has supported virtually every trade agreement that has been destroying our middle class. She supported NAFTA, and she supported China’s entrance into the World Trade Organization – another one of her husband’s colossal mistakes.
She supported the job killing trade deal with South Korea. She has supported the Trans-Pacific Partnership. The TPP will not only destroy our manufacturing, but it will make America subject to the rulings of foreign governments. I pledge to never sign any trade agreement that hurts our workers, or that diminishes our freedom and independence. Instead, I will make individual deals with individual countries.
No longer will we enter into these massive deals, with many countries, that are thousands of pages long – and which no one from our country even reads or understands. We are going to enforce all trade violations, including through the use of taxes and tariffs, against any country that cheats.
This includes stopping China’s outrageous theft of intellectual property, along with their illegal product dumping, and their devastating currency manipulation. Our horrible trade agreements with China and many others, will be totally renegotiated. That includes renegotiating NAFTA to get a much better deal for America – and we’ll walk away if we don’t get the deal that we want. We are going to start building and making things again.
Next comes the reform of our tax laws, regulations and energy rules. While Hillary Clinton plans a massive tax increase, I have proposed the largest tax reduction of any candidate who has declared for the presidential race this year – Democrat or Republican. Middle-income Americans will experience profound relief, and taxes will be simplified for everyone.
America is one of the highest-taxed nations in the world. Reducing taxes will cause new companies and new jobs to come roaring back into our country. Then we are going to deal with the issue of regulation, one of the greatest job-killers of them all. Excessive regulation is costing our country as much as $2 trillion a year, and we will end it. We are going to lift the restrictions on the production of American energy. This will produce more than $20 trillion in job creating economic activity over the next four decades.
My opponent, on the other hand, wants to put the great miners and steel workers of our country out of work – that will never happen when I am President. With these new economic policies, trillions of dollars will start flowing into our country.
This new wealth will improve the quality of life for all Americans – We will build the roads, highways, bridges, tunnels, airports, and the railways of tomorrow. This, in turn, will create millions more jobs. We will rescue kids from failing schools by helping their parents send them to a safe school of their choice.
My opponent would rather protect education bureaucrats than serve American children. We will repeal and replace disastrous Obamacare. You will be able to choose your own doctor again. And we will fix TSA at the airports! We will completely rebuild our depleted military, and the countries that we protect, at a massive loss, will be asked to pay their fair share.
We will take care of our great Veterans like they have never been taken care of before. My opponent dismissed the VA scandal as being not widespread – one more sign of how out of touch she really is. We are going to ask every Department Head in government to provide a list of wasteful spending projects that we can eliminate in my first 100 days. The politicians have talked about it, I’m going to do it. We are also going to appoint justices to the United States Supreme Court who will uphold our laws and our Constitution.
The replacement for Justice Scalia will be a person of similar views and principles. This will be one of the most important issues decided by this election. My opponent wants to essentially abolish the 2nd amendment. I, on the other hand, received the early and strong endorsement of the National Rifle Association and will protect the right of all Americans to keep their families safe.
At this moment, I would like to thank the evangelical community who have been so good to me and so supportive. You have so much to contribute to our politics, yet our laws prevent you from speaking your minds from your own pulpits.
An amendment, pushed by Lyndon Johnson, many years ago, threatens religious institutions with a loss of their tax-exempt status if they openly advocate their political views.
I am going to work very hard to repeal that language and protect free speech for all Americans. We can accomplish these great things, and so much else – all we need to do is start believing in ourselves and in our country again. It is time to show the whole world that America Is Back – bigger, and better and stronger than ever before.
In this journey, I’m so lucky to have at my side my wife Melania and my wonderful children, Don, Ivanka, Eric, Tiffany, and Barron: you will always be my greatest source of pride and joy. My Dad, Fred Trump, was the smartest and hardest working man I ever knew. I wonder sometimes what he’d say if he were here to see this tonight.
It’s because of him that I learned, from my youngest age, to respect the dignity of work and the dignity of working people. He was a guy most comfortable in the company of bricklayers, carpenters, and electricians and I have a lot of that in me also. Then there’s my mother, Mary. She was strong, but also warm and fair-minded. She was a truly great mother. She was also one of the most honest and charitable people I have ever known, and a great judge of character.
To my sisters Mary Anne and Elizabeth, my brother Robert and my late brother Fred, I will always give you my love you are most special to me. I have loved my life in business.
But now, my sole and exclusive mission is to go to work for our country – to go to work for all of you. It’s time to deliver a victory for the American people. But to do that, we must break free from the petty politics of the past.
America is a nation of believers, dreamers, and strivers that is being led by a group of censors, critics, and cynics.
Remember: all of the people telling you that you can’t have the country you want, are the same people telling you that I wouldn’t be standing here tonight. No longer can we rely on those elites in media, and politics, who will say anything to keep a rigged system in place.
Instead, we must choose to Believe In America. History is watching us now.
It’s waiting to see if we will rise to the occasion, and if we will show the whole world that America is still free and independent and strong.
My opponent asks her supporters to recite a three-word loyalty pledge. It reads: “I’m With Her”. I choose to recite a different pledge.
My pledge reads: “I’M WITH YOU – THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.”
I am your voice.
So to every parent who dreams for their child, and every child who dreams for their future, I say these words to you tonight: I’m With You, and I will fight for you, and I will win for you.
To all Americans tonight, in all our cities and towns, I make this promise: We Will Make America Strong Again.
We Will Make America Proud Again.
We Will Make America Safe Again.
And We Will Make America Great Again.
THANK YOU.
Chillin’ with a hair tie,
No makeup, with some sweatpants on
You know I can always be that guy
You can think about me all night long
But I think you need something to think of me
Something that will keep you warm
And show you we can be more than just this
So, baby, if you are not ready for my kiss
Then you can wear my sweatshirt
And you can tell your friends
We’ll be together ’til the end
Girl, you can wear my sweatshirt
‘Cause you’re the only one I hold
And I don’t want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my…
When you go to sleep at night,
When you wake up in the morning
And when you walk the halls
See, girl, you know you wanna flaunt it
Said this may be the start of something new
Girl, I’m gonna tell you exactly what I wanna do…
…is more than just this
So, baby, if you are not ready for my kiss
Then you can wear my sweatshirt
And you can tell your friends
We’ll be together ’til the end
Girl, you can wear my sweatshirt
‘Cause you’re the only one I hold
And I don’t want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my
And you can wear my sweatshirt
And I don’t want you to be cold
So you can wear my…
So you can wear my sweatshirt
And you can tell your friends
We’ll be together ’til the end
Girl, you can wear my sweatshirt
‘Cause you’re the only one I hold
And I don’t want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my
…sweatshirt
‘Cause you’re the only one I hold
And I don’t want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my…
How can you see into my eyes, like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I’ve become so numb, without a soul
My spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
Wake me up, wake me up inside I can’t wake up,
Wake me up inside, save me,
Call my name and save me from the dark, wake me up
Bid my blood to run, I can’t wake up
Before I come undone, save me
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Now that I know what I’m without
You can’t just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life
Wake me up, wake me up inside I can’t wake up,
Wake me up inside, save me,
Call my name and save me from the dark, wake me up
Bid my blood to run, I can’t wake up
Before I come undone, save me
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life, I’ve been living a lie
There’s nothing inside, bring me to life
Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead
All this time, I can’t believe I couldn’t see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
I’ve got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don’t let me die here
There must be something wrong, bring me to life
Wake me up, wake me up inside I can’t wake up,
Wake me up inside, save me,
Call my name and save me from the dark, wake me up
Bid my blood to run, I can’t wake up
Before I come undone, save me
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life, I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
Bring me to life
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeahSeven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekendPartyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend
7: 45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today it is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after… wards
I don’t want this weekend to end
R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
With’ a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all
It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend
It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend
[8/28/2016 8:24:09 PM] Lolly: im working on my retirement post
[8/28/2016 8:24:14 PM] Lolly: its gonna look grate
[8/28/2016 8:24:26 PM] 
Ƭєяєzι Ƥуяσρє : :000
[4:05:29 PM] Lolly: pepper oh my gawd
[4:05:34 PM] Lolly: I finished the post
[4:05:40 PM] Ƭєяєzι Ƥуяσρє : woah
[4:05:54 PM] Lolly: i just have to copy and paste this converstation into the post
[4:18:07 PM] Lolly: so are you ready pepper
[4:18:21 PM] Lolly: because i am
[4:18:30 PM] Lolly: i want death
[4:18:32 PM] Lolly: bye
[4:18:39 PM] Lolly: btw
[4:18:45 PM] Lolly: ryan sucks
[4:18:50 PM] Lolly: and mystic is trash
[4:18:53 PM] Lolly: goodbye armies
this is the sequel of that crappy post.
[7:08:40 PM] lolle: guess whos done
[7:08:43 PM] topical ointment white: uhh
[7:08:51 PM] topical ointment white: tito dick?
[7:08:59 PM] lolle: guess whos done
[7:09:04 PM] topical ointment white: um
[7:09:08 PM] Salt™: you?
[7:09:14 PM] lolle: woah yeah!!!!
[7:09:18 PM] lolle: how did you know!!
good day my friends
it was fun
we had a good run.
goodbye armies.
it was lit fam.
Filed under: Army Republic |
Army of the Republic | Welcome to the Ghosts | 
i was glad to have you guys as friends for these 4-5 years!!!
thanks for reading this depth of hell haha
bonus image!!! thank you guys: http://prnt.sc/eoh9kv
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my god l read this post for 203838933$2047024$2037397038997302389844839 hours. you’re so damn good at this! 😂 but yeah, l feel so left out when you didn’t even mention me. l know we didn’t talk much but just remember that we had our fun times in AR that time before we talked like sometimes
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liar
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reading this was equivalent to suicide
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aww!!! ty!!!! <333 love you too yank!!
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holy post
It was a pleasure leading you throughout the years Lolly! Good luck in life.
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If u read dis carefully u will see some bang c:
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forgotten I was
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